Reviews - Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends as an Adult

808 reviews for:

Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends as an Adult

Marisa G. Franco

4.09 AVERAGE

grettles's review against another edition

5.0

I LOVED THIS BOOK oh my gosh.
I love friendships (obviously) & I love attachment theory -> and combining the two was such a great mix.
And not “how to make friends / influence people” type fake/cringe but rather how to effectively connect with others & nurture friendships.

Main takeaways being:
Being secure helps foster friendships, liking gap - people like us more than we think they do, vulnerability gives friends the opportunity to show their love, being authentic is being responsive with intention (idk how to succinctly out this but the author does a good job), sometimes communal boundaries are necessary depending on the relationship (ie boundaries can shift if your bestie needs more support than you do, even if you’re low on bandwidth)

I also really appreciate the acknowledgement that not everyone clicks & you’re not going to be friends with (or even get along with) everyone. Though I appreciate the “everything that irritates us about others can teach us about ourselves” sentiment - it’s always nice to hear that it’s ok to not want to be friends with everyone. Also “you’re free to conceal things from people who you don’t trust.”

I highlighted a lot of nuggets but here’s just a few:

“For our life to feel significant, we crave someone to witness it. To verify its importance.”

“We live in a society in which it is acceptable to cancel friends with plans for work, but never vice versa”

“But with friends, it’s riskier to show affection bc we aren’t sure they feel the same way.”