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802 reviews for:
Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends as an Adult
Marisa G. Franco
4.09 AVERAGE
802 reviews for:
Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends as an Adult
Marisa G. Franco
4.09 AVERAGE
reflective
slow-paced
emotional
funny
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Really enjoyed this read!
I think Dr. Franco’s writing is accessible while heavily research-based. I appreciate the narrative approach to exampling various attachment styles and relationship patterns. While I was hoping this would be a good rec for clients, I would likely want to prime them more on attachment work. However, Franco does present attachment styles simply and reflectively for the reader. Additionally, I appreciate her candid recognition of the limited data base while questioning historically prejudice perspectives on friendships between same sexes, opposite sexes, and various cultures.
Still favorite quotes:
Friendship is “The divine love shining through bodies…” (Franco)
“Intensity and intimacy are not the same.” (Franco)
Despite socially minimizing platonic relationships, “Friendship gives romantic love the energy it needs.” (Franco)
I think Dr. Franco’s writing is accessible while heavily research-based. I appreciate the narrative approach to exampling various attachment styles and relationship patterns. While I was hoping this would be a good rec for clients, I would likely want to prime them more on attachment work. However, Franco does present attachment styles simply and reflectively for the reader. Additionally, I appreciate her candid recognition of the limited data base while questioning historically prejudice perspectives on friendships between same sexes, opposite sexes, and various cultures.
Still favorite quotes:
Friendship is “The divine love shining through bodies…” (Franco)
“Intensity and intimacy are not the same.” (Franco)
Despite socially minimizing platonic relationships, “Friendship gives romantic love the energy it needs.” (Franco)
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
fast-paced
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
If you're lonely or struggling, read this book. Making friends doesn't have to be a chore, and it doesn't have to be elusive.
I'm in my late 30s and I have two young kids, and I know how hard it is to fit anything else into the day, yet reading this book gave me hope and optimism for making more friends. Just as the pandemic was starting, my husband and I moved (it was a move we'd started before the pandemic hit), and we ended up in a new town with zero contacts, work-from-home jobs, and virtual school.
Over the last two years, community has been too hard to come by, and I've felt the sadness that is not knowing enough people around me. After two years of the pandemic chaos, I decided to make a concerted effort to build more friendships and connections in this town. This book is the perfect tool for understanding how friendships start, with clear takeaways for what to do (and how to do it).
This book is great for nerds (like me) as well as casual readers who want to figure out how to make new friends. I was given an early review copy to read in advance of publication, and here's what I learned:
Marisa G Franco is a PhD psychologist who studies friendships, relationships, and attachment, and she's sifted through hundreds of studies on how friendships are made and distilled it into stories and ideas that can be immediately implemented. For example:
- Most people (wrongly) assume that other people don't like them. The good news? Most people actually like you more than you think!
- Most people are waiting for someone else to initiate something. The good news is that if you initiate, you have a really good chance of making new friends.
- Initiation can be relatively small, like "I noticed XYZ, what did you think?" She shares this "insight-question" from another researcher and I immediately used it at the coffee shop the next day.
We live in a world where it's harder and harder to make friends. Countless headlines reveal that most adults have only a few friends, if that. Many men have only one close friend, and many more would say they have zero adult friends. When we don't have friends and community, our physical/emotional wellness suffers.
If you read this book and commit to taking just one of the actions in it each week, chances are you'll know dozens of people by name by this time next year.
I'm in my late 30s and I have two young kids, and I know how hard it is to fit anything else into the day, yet reading this book gave me hope and optimism for making more friends. Just as the pandemic was starting, my husband and I moved (it was a move we'd started before the pandemic hit), and we ended up in a new town with zero contacts, work-from-home jobs, and virtual school.
Over the last two years, community has been too hard to come by, and I've felt the sadness that is not knowing enough people around me. After two years of the pandemic chaos, I decided to make a concerted effort to build more friendships and connections in this town. This book is the perfect tool for understanding how friendships start, with clear takeaways for what to do (and how to do it).
This book is great for nerds (like me) as well as casual readers who want to figure out how to make new friends. I was given an early review copy to read in advance of publication, and here's what I learned:
Marisa G Franco is a PhD psychologist who studies friendships, relationships, and attachment, and she's sifted through hundreds of studies on how friendships are made and distilled it into stories and ideas that can be immediately implemented. For example:
- Most people (wrongly) assume that other people don't like them. The good news? Most people actually like you more than you think!
- Most people are waiting for someone else to initiate something. The good news is that if you initiate, you have a really good chance of making new friends.
- Initiation can be relatively small, like "I noticed XYZ, what did you think?" She shares this "insight-question" from another researcher and I immediately used it at the coffee shop the next day.
We live in a world where it's harder and harder to make friends. Countless headlines reveal that most adults have only a few friends, if that. Many men have only one close friend, and many more would say they have zero adult friends. When we don't have friends and community, our physical/emotional wellness suffers.
If you read this book and commit to taking just one of the actions in it each week, chances are you'll know dozens of people by name by this time next year.
LOVE this book. A good perspective on how friendship love is every bit as valid and wonderful as romantic love. Incredibly insightful in how to show up in the best way in relationships for both ourselves AND the other person.
Franco delves deep into the subtleties of modern friendships, offering clear, actionable steps for fostering deeper connections. Her grounded approach to a subject that is universally understood yet rarely articulated with such clarity truly sets this book apart.
A particularly noteworthy aspect is Franco's frank discussion of the nuances involved in making friends across different privileged groups and the specific challenges men face in forming and maintaining friendships. This candor adds depth and relevance to the book.
However, "Platonic" is not without its own challenges. The pacing varies significantly, with some chapters intensely captivating my interest, while others seem to drag, resulting in an uneven reading experience. This inconsistency at times disrupts the flow, potentially making the journey through the book feel more laborious than enlightening.
Despite these pacing issues, I would recommend "Platonic" to anyone seeking to navigate the complexities of contemporary friendships. Its insightful content, coupled with straightforward guidance, makes it a valuable resource, although it may require some patience to get through the slower sections.
A particularly noteworthy aspect is Franco's frank discussion of the nuances involved in making friends across different privileged groups and the specific challenges men face in forming and maintaining friendships. This candor adds depth and relevance to the book.
However, "Platonic" is not without its own challenges. The pacing varies significantly, with some chapters intensely captivating my interest, while others seem to drag, resulting in an uneven reading experience. This inconsistency at times disrupts the flow, potentially making the journey through the book feel more laborious than enlightening.
Despite these pacing issues, I would recommend "Platonic" to anyone seeking to navigate the complexities of contemporary friendships. Its insightful content, coupled with straightforward guidance, makes it a valuable resource, although it may require some patience to get through the slower sections.
informative
reflective
medium-paced
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
Interesting & compelling research plus evidence based advice! But some advice personally seemed better in theory than practice. Also, written in an easy to follow and enjoyable as well as relatable way!