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799 reviews for:
Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends as an Adult
Marisa G. Franco
4.09 AVERAGE
799 reviews for:
Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends as an Adult
Marisa G. Franco
4.09 AVERAGE
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Probably a 3.5 tbh - nothing super revelatory (but I’ve read a lot on attachment theory) but some nice passages that remind me how happy I am to have friends who I love so much!
This is a great summary of the research on friendship, interspersed with memorable stories from Franco's own life and other people she knows or interviewed for the book. It intersects with research on attachment, though the book wasn't as heavily attachment-focused as I expected from the subtitle (in a good way — the book references attachment theory as needed but stays centered on friendship). Through chapter topics like generosity, anger, and affection, Franco goes through the actual day-to-day experiences that build and sustain friendship, grounded in true stories. As someone who's been focused recently on maintaining the friends I have and finding new ones, I felt like this book really forced me to take a hard look at my own behavior, feelings, and motivations in my relationships.
I had a few nitpicks, the biggest of which was that Franco's audiobook narration — while good compared to many authors reading their own works — had a lot of unusual (if not wrong) pronunciations of words that I found distracting. Pronouncing "women" as "woman" was the biggest one because it threw me off every single time it came up in a sentence, which was a lot. I was also personally really frustrated that Franco cited Angela Chen's explanation of romantic attraction vs. sexual attraction in Ace as the basis for talking about how same-sex friendships can be "romantic" without being gay relationships. The fact that she automatically categorizes any relationship without sexual attraction as a friendship makes me thinks that she didn't actually read all of Ace, or at the very least vastly misunderstood its core message, since her premise is invalidating to many alloromantic and grayromantic asexuals.
I think this is a well-researched and well-written dive into the real-life experiences of friendship and would be valuable for almost anyone to read!
I had a few nitpicks, the biggest of which was that Franco's audiobook narration — while good compared to many authors reading their own works — had a lot of unusual (if not wrong) pronunciations of words that I found distracting. Pronouncing "women" as "woman" was the biggest one because it threw me off every single time it came up in a sentence, which was a lot. I was also personally really frustrated that Franco cited Angela Chen's explanation of romantic attraction vs. sexual attraction in Ace as the basis for talking about how same-sex friendships can be "romantic" without being gay relationships. The fact that she automatically categorizes any relationship without sexual attraction as a friendship makes me thinks that she didn't actually read all of Ace, or at the very least vastly misunderstood its core message, since her premise is invalidating to many alloromantic and grayromantic asexuals.
I think this is a well-researched and well-written dive into the real-life experiences of friendship and would be valuable for almost anyone to read!
Interesting info on the history of friendship, on attachment styles, and on the different ways we can unintentionally sabotage friendships. Do I feel more capable of attracting and maintaining friends? Sadly, no. The book is interesting, but not as useful as I hoped. Good, not great.
hopeful
informative
lighthearted
medium-paced
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
I liked learning about the attachment styles in relation to friendship, which honestly was helpful for sexual romantic relationships too. I wish there was more research on the disorganized attachment style (anxious and avoidant together), because that would have been super helpful for myself, but I liked the information provided on secure, anxious, and avoidant. I like recognizing missteps and wrongs in myself, and this book was helpful in its very relatable explanations and anonymous experiences. Slowly improving but also more room to grow. Overall good listen! Love and appreciate your friends.
Ik lees nooit psychologische boeken, maar dit boek vond ik erg interessant. Ik twijfel bijvoorbeeld altijd of ik eerlijk of enthousiast moet zijn. Bijvoorbeeld als iemand een eerste prijs bowlen of cavia trainen heeft gewonnen. Maar Franco maakt duidelijk dat je gul moet zijn naar je vrienden en bereid moet zijn om door hun ogen te kijken. Het is hartstikke leuk dat ze zo goed kunnen bowlen, al vind jij er misschien niets ana. Dat is volkomen irrelevant in het teken van de vriendschap. Zogenaamd neutrale geïnteresseerde vragen stellen als: waarom is die prijs zo belangrijk voor je? als iemand gek van vreugde is, zijn alleen maar dodelijk voor de relatie.
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
Ooo. OOO. I *really* liked this book. So much of the literature and research of attachment focuses on either romantic or parent/child relationships. This was awesome because it addressed many questions I’ve had about friendship. I hope there is more to come! I’ll probably end up reading this one again.