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4.35 AVERAGE
4.35 AVERAGE
If I Should Stumble is the third book in the Tork series. I love these authors. Love them. And while this story is not about Tork and Adam, we do see plenty of them, throughout, and they are still going strong. And Tork shines brightly - so good to see.
This book. This story hit me. My heart broke for Kaz and all he's been through. Forced to leave his country because his family knows. Because his coach knows. Because his life is in danger.
Kaz fled from a war-torn country. He left his family, friends, university because they sent him away. He's been in the UK for a good while, now, as a refugee and he feels lost. He feels alone. He's not processed anything and he feels loads of guilt, not just for leaving his family behind, but for things that happened on his way to sanctuary. He puts on a brave and cheerful face, but it's all surface. Underneath that facade, he is suffering greatly. He gathers things that were needed then, but weren't to be found. He builds a cave, a fort to house all his fears and regrets.
But not everyone understands, because he won't talk about it, and, even worse, he's been using alcohol to quiet the memories and the guilt, so he is in danger of losing his place at Citywise. Only Tork is keeping him in the program by volunteering Kaz to coach their charity running team, because he discovered Kaz was a runner in his home country and he knows how to train properly.
Zack is a member of the charity running team that Adam and Tork have put together. Zack isn't athletic, at all, but he wants to be part of a team and he wants to lose some weight, so here he is (my hero, because - go him!) ready to learn and train. Zack is in culinary school and also volunteers at the same shelter that Adam does. Cooking and baking is Zack's passion. And because he is overweight, Zack doesn't see himself as attractive and certainly doesn't think someone like Kaz would see him.
But Kaz loves Zack's body. And his personality. The whole package. He has trouble admitting it, at first, because back home, being gay could get you killed and even get your family killed. So he has kept his desires inside and has tried hard not to even think about it. Seeing Tork with Adam, being so free with their affections, helps Kaz learn that his love is a good thing.
The charity run gave them all purpose, not only as a team, but an individual purpose to improve themselves and make a difference in the bigger picture. Kaz needed the team as much, if not more, than the others. Kaz had lost his purpose under a mountain of regret and fear.
What I loved about If I Should Stumble was that, beyond the charity run, Kaz and Zack each needed something that the other was perfect at giving. Zack needed some self confidence and acceptance for himself and his body. And Kaz needed someone who could help him see who he really was. That he was worth loving. Both of them needed someone to see beyond the outer packaging to what lay inside themselves. And they found it, along with some happiness. Kaz still has a ways to go to process everything he has been through, but he'll do it now. For Zack, and for himself. He's finally ready.
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ARC of If I Should Stumble was generously provided by the authors in exchange for an honest review.
This book. This story hit me. My heart broke for Kaz and all he's been through. Forced to leave his country because his family knows. Because his coach knows. Because his life is in danger.
Kaz fled from a war-torn country. He left his family, friends, university because they sent him away. He's been in the UK for a good while, now, as a refugee and he feels lost. He feels alone. He's not processed anything and he feels loads of guilt, not just for leaving his family behind, but for things that happened on his way to sanctuary. He puts on a brave and cheerful face, but it's all surface. Underneath that facade, he is suffering greatly. He gathers things that were needed then, but weren't to be found. He builds a cave, a fort to house all his fears and regrets.
But not everyone understands, because he won't talk about it, and, even worse, he's been using alcohol to quiet the memories and the guilt, so he is in danger of losing his place at Citywise. Only Tork is keeping him in the program by volunteering Kaz to coach their charity running team, because he discovered Kaz was a runner in his home country and he knows how to train properly.
Zack is a member of the charity running team that Adam and Tork have put together. Zack isn't athletic, at all, but he wants to be part of a team and he wants to lose some weight, so here he is (my hero, because - go him!) ready to learn and train. Zack is in culinary school and also volunteers at the same shelter that Adam does. Cooking and baking is Zack's passion. And because he is overweight, Zack doesn't see himself as attractive and certainly doesn't think someone like Kaz would see him.
But Kaz loves Zack's body. And his personality. The whole package. He has trouble admitting it, at first, because back home, being gay could get you killed and even get your family killed. So he has kept his desires inside and has tried hard not to even think about it. Seeing Tork with Adam, being so free with their affections, helps Kaz learn that his love is a good thing.
The charity run gave them all purpose, not only as a team, but an individual purpose to improve themselves and make a difference in the bigger picture. Kaz needed the team as much, if not more, than the others. Kaz had lost his purpose under a mountain of regret and fear.
What I loved about If I Should Stumble was that, beyond the charity run, Kaz and Zack each needed something that the other was perfect at giving. Zack needed some self confidence and acceptance for himself and his body. And Kaz needed someone who could help him see who he really was. That he was worth loving. Both of them needed someone to see beyond the outer packaging to what lay inside themselves. And they found it, along with some happiness. Kaz still has a ways to go to process everything he has been through, but he'll do it now. For Zack, and for himself. He's finally ready.
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ARC of If I Should Stumble was generously provided by the authors in exchange for an honest review.
I loved If I Should Stumble. Loved it! LOVED IT! Loved. It.
I’m pretty sure I’ve loved every Claire Davis/Al Stewart book I’ve read so far, so to say If I Should Stumble is my favorite is saying a lot. This story! Gah! It was so beautiful and hard and painful and poignant. It gutted me again and again yet my heart is full and happy. I admit I’m still sad too, the themes are based in a really harsh, horrible reality so of course I’m still haunted by that knowledge but it’s so very worth it.
This is a story I could, and will, read over and over and never tire of it.
Did I mention I LOVED IT?
I HIGHLY recommend this lovely book! 5 stunning stars!
I’m pretty sure I’ve loved every Claire Davis/Al Stewart book I’ve read so far, so to say If I Should Stumble is my favorite is saying a lot. This story! Gah! It was so beautiful and hard and painful and poignant. It gutted me again and again yet my heart is full and happy. I admit I’m still sad too, the themes are based in a really harsh, horrible reality so of course I’m still haunted by that knowledge but it’s so very worth it.
This is a story I could, and will, read over and over and never tire of it.
Did I mention I LOVED IT?
I HIGHLY recommend this lovely book! 5 stunning stars!
(Editor's Review)
This story...
You know when you're ill? I don't mean with a cold or a bug or whatever, but really ill. The kind of poorly where your insides feel ragged and raw and like they're on fire. Flu, or post-op pain - that kind of thing?
If I Should Stumble is the literary equivalent.
What I want to say in this editor's review, I can't, because it will spoil too much of the story, and I know how important it is to the authors (and therefore to me) that this story is approached with an open heart and mind. What I can say is the opening Prologue is one of the most devastating reads of my life, in part because it's real. By the time I reached Chapter One, I was hurting so much and compelled to read on because whether the happy ending came from reality or imagination, I desperately needed it.
The second Prologue floored me. Specifically, the lead up to the line from which the title of this story came is just...eegads. I can't tell you, but you owe it to yourself, and to the real Kaz and those like him, to read this story. It is brilliant. Bring tissues.
This story...
You know when you're ill? I don't mean with a cold or a bug or whatever, but really ill. The kind of poorly where your insides feel ragged and raw and like they're on fire. Flu, or post-op pain - that kind of thing?
If I Should Stumble is the literary equivalent.
What I want to say in this editor's review, I can't, because it will spoil too much of the story, and I know how important it is to the authors (and therefore to me) that this story is approached with an open heart and mind. What I can say is the opening Prologue is one of the most devastating reads of my life, in part because it's real. By the time I reached Chapter One, I was hurting so much and compelled to read on because whether the happy ending came from reality or imagination, I desperately needed it.
The second Prologue floored me. Specifically, the lead up to the line from which the title of this story came is just...eegads. I can't tell you, but you owe it to yourself, and to the real Kaz and those like him, to read this story. It is brilliant. Bring tissues.
If I Should Stumble is a beautifully sweet, slow-built romance. But it is so much more than that.
I think Ofelia Gränd said it well. It feels important.
It feels courageous.
I absolutely refuse to give anything about this story away. I will say that like with the other books in this series, we are given this lovely romance about seeing past our prejudices and that, as it unfolds, is more than a story about two characters. It also touches on something real. It lends a fictional name to what is sadly, a reality for countless people. In doing so, it may just change hearts and minds.
Easily one of my favorite books of 2016. The highest of recommendations.
I think Ofelia Gränd said it well. It feels important.
It feels courageous.
I absolutely refuse to give anything about this story away. I will say that like with the other books in this series, we are given this lovely romance about seeing past our prejudices and that, as it unfolds, is more than a story about two characters. It also touches on something real. It lends a fictional name to what is sadly, a reality for countless people. In doing so, it may just change hearts and minds.
Easily one of my favorite books of 2016. The highest of recommendations.
https://justloveromance.wordpress.com/2016/12/01/if-i-should-stumble-davis-stewart/#more-15859
4.5 stars
What if you had to run? Had to leave everything and everyone behind and flee for your life? What if the journey you had to take was so heartbreaking, you would gladly spend each day doing whatever it took to forget the faces and the voices of those who weren’t strong enough, fast enough…lucky enough. And what if you had to do it alone?
Kaz is a boy who likes other boys. He knows it. His family knows it. His coach knows it. But other people have noticed too, and they’re talking. And Kaz knows, words are dangerous.
“They know!”
Words to terrify. Words to end all sleep. Words that no denying could dint or change. Once you shared a laugh – lingered over a glance or went to the café with boys too many times – eventually they always found out.
Words that got you beat up.
Words that killed
Words – words – words.
So Kaz runs. Runs like his coach taught him to do on the track, when the possibility of an Olympic dream didn’t seem so far away. But two years on, in a new country, Kaz is still running. Only this time, he’s running from himself; from the memories of a journey so harrowing that the people who couldn’t run as fast or as far, haunt the very marrow of his bones.
But salvation is coming in the form of a charity race where Kaz is given the opportunity to coach four young men and women. Not only are they breaking down his defenses, they are giving him a chance to build friendships – build trust – and giving him his voice back. Now he just needs the courage to allow himself to love without fear and to finally stop running from his demons.
This could very well have turned out to be a depressing story about a young refugee struggling to adapt to his new country. But there is no preaching and no heavy-handed rebukes. Instead, in the authors’ deft hands, it’s full of gentle humour, compassion and characters that are entirely relatable.
If I Should Stumble brings back Tork and Adam, the MC’s from the first two books in this series (and if you haven’t read them, go now. You need to get to know how amazing they are first before you read this book). It’s lovely to see them, still together and going strong.
And then there is Zack, the young, chef in training with body image issues. Where others see reason to ridicule, Kaz sees something to treasure.
Zack was large and hairy – nothing like the physique-obsessed boys Kaz had trained with.
He’d always been drawn to bigger men with swelling arms and round stomachs – real men who didn’t waste time comparing protein shake flavours.
Kissable.
Kaz and Zack are opposite sides of the same coin. Even their names are practically a palindrome. Where Kaz is all bony and sharp angles, Zach is soft and curved. Where Kaz is deflection and shadows, Zack is open heart and clear intentions. Where Kaz denies himself all but the barest amount of sustenance, Zack enjoys cooking and eating with full flavour and gusto. Their strengths offset each other’s weaknesses. Their careful courtship is an absolute joy to read and I’m not sure I have come across two sweeter boys in romance this year.
There is so much to love about this book. I give full credit to the authors for being able to discuss important social issues without beating their readers over the head with IMPORTANT MESSAGES. Because even without the sermon, it’s not difficult to imagine the horrors that Kaz faced on his journey. After all, we’ve seen them in our nightly news reports. What we don’t often see, is the aftermath. Of how survivors must not only live with what they’ve seen, but acclimate to a way of life that is often strange and unfamiliar. This book portrays just a small portion of that struggle, and does it quite beautifully.
This book, this series, is highly recommended.
I received an advanced copy of this novel in exchange for a fair and honest review.
4.5 stars
What if you had to run? Had to leave everything and everyone behind and flee for your life? What if the journey you had to take was so heartbreaking, you would gladly spend each day doing whatever it took to forget the faces and the voices of those who weren’t strong enough, fast enough…lucky enough. And what if you had to do it alone?
Kaz is a boy who likes other boys. He knows it. His family knows it. His coach knows it. But other people have noticed too, and they’re talking. And Kaz knows, words are dangerous.
“They know!”
Words to terrify. Words to end all sleep. Words that no denying could dint or change. Once you shared a laugh – lingered over a glance or went to the café with boys too many times – eventually they always found out.
Words that got you beat up.
Words that killed
Words – words – words.
So Kaz runs. Runs like his coach taught him to do on the track, when the possibility of an Olympic dream didn’t seem so far away. But two years on, in a new country, Kaz is still running. Only this time, he’s running from himself; from the memories of a journey so harrowing that the people who couldn’t run as fast or as far, haunt the very marrow of his bones.
But salvation is coming in the form of a charity race where Kaz is given the opportunity to coach four young men and women. Not only are they breaking down his defenses, they are giving him a chance to build friendships – build trust – and giving him his voice back. Now he just needs the courage to allow himself to love without fear and to finally stop running from his demons.
This could very well have turned out to be a depressing story about a young refugee struggling to adapt to his new country. But there is no preaching and no heavy-handed rebukes. Instead, in the authors’ deft hands, it’s full of gentle humour, compassion and characters that are entirely relatable.
If I Should Stumble brings back Tork and Adam, the MC’s from the first two books in this series (and if you haven’t read them, go now. You need to get to know how amazing they are first before you read this book). It’s lovely to see them, still together and going strong.
And then there is Zack, the young, chef in training with body image issues. Where others see reason to ridicule, Kaz sees something to treasure.
Zack was large and hairy – nothing like the physique-obsessed boys Kaz had trained with.
He’d always been drawn to bigger men with swelling arms and round stomachs – real men who didn’t waste time comparing protein shake flavours.
Kissable.
Kaz and Zack are opposite sides of the same coin. Even their names are practically a palindrome. Where Kaz is all bony and sharp angles, Zach is soft and curved. Where Kaz is deflection and shadows, Zack is open heart and clear intentions. Where Kaz denies himself all but the barest amount of sustenance, Zack enjoys cooking and eating with full flavour and gusto. Their strengths offset each other’s weaknesses. Their careful courtship is an absolute joy to read and I’m not sure I have come across two sweeter boys in romance this year.
There is so much to love about this book. I give full credit to the authors for being able to discuss important social issues without beating their readers over the head with IMPORTANT MESSAGES. Because even without the sermon, it’s not difficult to imagine the horrors that Kaz faced on his journey. After all, we’ve seen them in our nightly news reports. What we don’t often see, is the aftermath. Of how survivors must not only live with what they’ve seen, but acclimate to a way of life that is often strange and unfamiliar. This book portrays just a small portion of that struggle, and does it quite beautifully.
This book, this series, is highly recommended.
I received an advanced copy of this novel in exchange for a fair and honest review.
2.5 stars
It would have been spectacular if names, nationalities and identities of people and conflicts had not been omitted. I believe that the goal -a priori a good one- was creating an archetype, but IMO if we don't put on these things full name the outcome is the downplaying of the sufferings of the victims and a way to disrespect them.
It would have been spectacular if names, nationalities and identities of people and conflicts had not been omitted. I believe that the goal -a priori a good one- was creating an archetype, but IMO if we don't put on these things full name the outcome is the downplaying of the sufferings of the victims and a way to disrespect them.
*** 4.5 Stars ***
The heartbeat of this story lies as much in what is not said as what is, and it is both heartbreaking and healing.
The heartbeat of this story lies as much in what is not said as what is, and it is both heartbreaking and healing.
Seriously, I really need to know who you are! If anyone knows Elf Is Not My Real Name, please help me out here! I need to deliver hugs in person to say THANK YOU!! You made me really happy!!
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I really wanted to write a review to do this book justice but I just don't have the time right now :/
I read it twice - started it again right after turning the last page - it was sooo good!!! So many emotions, so many tears, so much hope and love!!
I love the whole series and I will remember it for a very long time <3
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I really wanted to write a review to do this book justice but I just don't have the time right now :/
I read it twice - started it again right after turning the last page - it was sooo good!!! So many emotions, so many tears, so much hope and love!!
I love the whole series and I will remember it for a very long time <3
Holy wow I was not expecting such a psychologically intense refugee plotline. It took me off guard. Kaz was in such a bad place when this story starts, and I think they may have underplayed how much time he would need to come back from that? Not by much, because they were certainly clear about how much support he needed, but it almost felt weird to care about his romantic prospects when he had so many bigger problems to worry about.
Not that I didn't absolutely love Zack. I really did. They were so sweet together, and everything about the running team was lovely and felt very real. I just don't usually agree with a character when they question their ability to be in a romantic relationship, and sometimes I did here. For different reasons than Kaz was thinking, but still.
Not that I didn't absolutely love Zack. I really did. They were so sweet together, and everything about the running team was lovely and felt very real. I just don't usually agree with a character when they question their ability to be in a romantic relationship, and sometimes I did here. For different reasons than Kaz was thinking, but still.
This intense YA story reminds us of the risks refugees face, and the trauma that's often present in their past, even after they make it to our safer shores. Kaz arrived in the UK almost a year ago, from a place where being gay could mean a lynch mob at your door. He's safe now, but he doesn't feel safe. And along the way, he lost so much - his family, his running teammates, friends he found in mutual need, and the running coach who saved him by making him go.
Kaz is silent, and private, and he's taught himself to put a bright smile on top of his pain. He drinks to forget both his losses and how badly he's fitting in to his new life. The people who are trying to give him new skills don't understand why he's failing, why he can't seem to try harder, but he's on his last chance with the residence he's in. He figures he's going to fail, until Tork is assigned as his peer mentor. Tork sticks close, covers for him, and won't give up on him. And then one day, Tork volunteers him to coach his and Adam's charity running team. And something so integral to who Kaz once was threatens to break the walls he has erected around his past.
Zach was pleased but surprised to be asked by his friend Adam to be on the charity team. He has a great heart and wants to help, but he's a baker, and he's overweight and very far out of shape. He figures running is a lost cause, until Kaz arrives, with an enthusiasm and can-do attitude that won't take "I can't run" for an answer.
Both young men have something to offer that the other needs, but Kaz's traumas, and Zach's self-doubts, are a lot to overcome. This story was painful, and real, subtle, and lovely. It paints a clear and heart-opening picture, without filling in every detail. The emotions ring very true.
(Although listed as a book 3, this could be read as a stand alone, since the MCs of the first two are secondary.)
Kaz is silent, and private, and he's taught himself to put a bright smile on top of his pain. He drinks to forget both his losses and how badly he's fitting in to his new life. The people who are trying to give him new skills don't understand why he's failing, why he can't seem to try harder, but he's on his last chance with the residence he's in. He figures he's going to fail, until Tork is assigned as his peer mentor. Tork sticks close, covers for him, and won't give up on him. And then one day, Tork volunteers him to coach his and Adam's charity running team. And something so integral to who Kaz once was threatens to break the walls he has erected around his past.
Zach was pleased but surprised to be asked by his friend Adam to be on the charity team. He has a great heart and wants to help, but he's a baker, and he's overweight and very far out of shape. He figures running is a lost cause, until Kaz arrives, with an enthusiasm and can-do attitude that won't take "I can't run" for an answer.
Both young men have something to offer that the other needs, but Kaz's traumas, and Zach's self-doubts, are a lot to overcome. This story was painful, and real, subtle, and lovely. It paints a clear and heart-opening picture, without filling in every detail. The emotions ring very true.
(Although listed as a book 3, this could be read as a stand alone, since the MCs of the first two are secondary.)