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lowbrowhighart's review
notes: the "problem of bisexuality" as the nonexistence of a mixture of gay and straight within our imaginations; how we interpret our arousal is connected to our life narratives; society views bisexuality the wrong way - defining identity based on someone other than the bisexual person herself; sexuality is who you are, not who you sleep with, and doesn't change according to whom you're sleeping with; understanding bisexuality requires listening to the stories of bisexual people; AC/DC as metaphor for bisexuality; fear that experience may be uncommon and will result in isolation, alienation, and marginalization; bisexuality has been treated and therapized rather than defined; "cringing is often a sign of unfinished political business"; women organizing women offers a different sense of possibility; social conventions prevent the deviation from heterosexuality; compulsory heterosexuality; "the threatened loss of new possibility"; depicting women's love lives in black-or-white terms suppresses the messier realities of sexuality; sense of flux; home as nowhere and/or multiple locations and realities; straight relationships with gay expectations; paradox of feminism: "women expect equality from their relationships, but not from men"; bisexuality both subverts dominant power and provides access to it; bisexual women as more independent; women's bisexuality perceived as unthreatening; virgin/whore dichotomy; "stereotype threat"; "our individuality is part of our power"; no singular straight or gay experience; bisexuals as connectors - bridging people with and without privilege; positive aspect of entitlement - knowing relative freedom means one expects and enjoys it and provokes social change in order to keep or regain that freedom; entitlement = confidence = visibility = political power; bisexual visibility could make straight people the minority; margins as spaces of radical openness, but still small and limiting; value as a person shouldn't derive solely from being "other"; sexuality should originate in the self and not be defined as a reflection of who a person is sleeping with; bisexuals as subjects, not objects; subjectivity as a sign of having rights and privilege; many people's lives don't make sense in a gay/straight context - sexuality is more complex
haudurn's review
2.0
This is a dull memoir of a woman who seems to think bisexuality is radical. Ho hum.
toobendy's review
1.0
Look Both Ways by Jennifer Baumgardner is supposed to be about bisexual politics, however it is more of a chance for Baumgardner to pontificate and name drop. Baumgardner tries to create a cute nickname for bisexuals in this book; she frequently says that people “look both ways.” This continues long after readers have the point, and is almost like she hopes that by repeatedly saying it, that if you didn’t think it was a cute name before you’ll learn to love it. She mentions that in every day conversation we don’t say heterosexual and homosexual, then why do we say bisexual? Baumgardner states that this is an indication of unfinished political business. Granted, the few nicknames there are for bisexual are far from complementary, fence-sitter, waffle, heartbreaker, and disease vector. By people, I mean women because Baumgardner almost never mentions men and their sexuality. The only times she does mention men is to talk about how emotionally unavailable they are and how no relationship with a man will ever be as fulfilling as one with a woman. It always seems like a red-flag when anyone bunches a whole group of people together.
Baumgardner spends some time talking about the invisibility of being bisexual, if you’re with a member of the opposite sex you’re straight and with a member of the same sex you’re gay. She reminds the reader that sexuality is fluid and just because this concept is not the social norm now does not discredit it. A very cringe worthy, but valid part of the books is Baumgardner talking about her first relationship with a woman. She talks about how she had to come to terms with her own prejudices about same sex relationships. No one likes to admit that they’re prejudice about something, especially a part of themselves. Society teaches people prejudices, which first, they must become aware of before they can get rid of.
Baumgardner has been going to college campuses since 2002 to speak about feminism and during this time and when the book was published (2007) saw an increase in LGBT acceptance there. She states that this increase of LGBT acceptance and the increase of people identifying as LGBT have caused women to have “gay expectations” in heterosexual relationships, which is “sexual fulfillment, emotional fulfillment and intellectual satisfaction.” Once again she forgoes mentioning men and their changing views on sexuality and their roles in society.
This book is more of a memoir than a discussion of bisexual politics. There are times when Baumgardner seemed to bring up people in the book, only to be able to say she met them, interviewed them, or slept with them. For most of the book Baumgardner comes off as either smug or self-congratulatory, neither one makes for an enjoyable reading experience. This book would be wonderful for someone’s first foray into reading about feminism or bisexual politics but people familiar with either topic will probably find this book rudimentary.
Trigger Warnings:
No known
Does it pass the Bechdel test?
N/A
Originally Posted on my blog One-Thousand Lives Book Reviews
nina_serrianne's review
3.0
A more accurate rating would be 2.5 stars. This book would have made for a great article. Starting off strong, the book quickly unravels into Baumgardner talking ad nauseam about her own relationships, specifically dating a celebrity (the name dropping gets obnoxious), as the universal experience of bisexuality. With that being said, I am grateful for this book. Despite its flaws, there are parts of the book that truly speak to bisexual politics in America.
kellymce's review against another edition
2.0
It's always good to see the B being represented, but this generalized yet extremely personal account frustrated me. Baumgardner makes a lot of sweeping statements about the experiences of women without managing to include almost anything about queeeeeeer culture. She also more or less dismisses trans folk altogether. Oh, and? Reveries about Ani DiFranco can only take us so far into understanding female sexuality.
robinlm's review
4.0
Although the title is a bit misleading--this book is more about personal experiences and stories than politics--I thought it was a good examination of the narrow range of labels americans like to put on their sexuality. I enjoyed the read (finished it in one day).