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paigebayliss's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gaslighting, Domestic abuse, and Emotional abuse
mxunsmiley's review
5.0
A very difficult novel to get through. I really disliked it the first time I read it two years ago. Now, after coming to realizations in my life, I realize why I disliked it so much--it rang very authentically to my experience of abuse both in this specific context and in general, though I don't wholly relate to every incident. The feelings, the doubt, the lingering thought that maybe you're just making it up, and this refusal to acknowledge that relationships between women can absolutely be abusive as well, it all was uncomfortable yet important to put into words.
It does read extremely disjointedly, but as someone familiar with her experience in multiple ways, it mirrors the way you see the world when in this kind of situation and relationship--the helplessness, the horror, the detachment. I think using the second person is ultimately the most effective because you learn to dissociate yourself from the experience eventually, for better or worse.
I also ended up loving the footnotes referencing a folklore encyclopedia. The motif hit the right note for me this time, it just seemed to fit with the horror aspect as when you really think about it, many women in folklore are subject to abject horror, for the entertainment of the masses or chastisement/shaming of women, the latter of which obviously is a big problem when addressing female abuse victims (and the dismissal that female abusers exist).
It's hard for me to be detailed because again, it was difficult for me to get through. I loved Machado's Her Body and Other Parties, so I was aware that she is known for horror, but I hate to say that her most horrifying story was this one, from the structure to the content itself. It's sad to admit that sometimes reality is what is truly the pinnacle of terror, and she captured that perfectly with this.
It does read extremely disjointedly, but as someone familiar with her experience in multiple ways, it mirrors the way you see the world when in this kind of situation and relationship--the helplessness, the horror, the detachment. I think using the second person is ultimately the most effective because you learn to dissociate yourself from the experience eventually, for better or worse.
I also ended up loving the footnotes referencing a folklore encyclopedia. The motif hit the right note for me this time, it just seemed to fit with the horror aspect as when you really think about it, many women in folklore are subject to abject horror, for the entertainment of the masses or chastisement/shaming of women, the latter of which obviously is a big problem when addressing female abuse victims (and the dismissal that female abusers exist).
It's hard for me to be detailed because again, it was difficult for me to get through. I loved Machado's Her Body and Other Parties, so I was aware that she is known for horror, but I hate to say that her most horrifying story was this one, from the structure to the content itself. It's sad to admit that sometimes reality is what is truly the pinnacle of terror, and she captured that perfectly with this.
dantemkunc's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse
honnari_hannya's review
3.0
3.5 Stars
This review and the subsequent rating might change as I gather my thoughts. I always feel bad rating memoirs but this is not a judgement on the author as a person, nor does it mean I believe her any less.
Full disclosure: I do not always get along with Carmen Maria Machado's writing. I had trouble getting through her most well-known book, [b:Her Body and Other Parties|33375622|Her Body and Other Parties|Carmen Maria Machado|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1485266434l/33375622._SX50_.jpg|54116423], and ended up putting it down indefinitely. I like her ideas, I like the way she writes, but something about it doesn't gel with me when she puts it together.
I have pretty similar feelings about this book. While I love the idea of using the "dream house" in conjunction with various narrative tropes to frame and deconstruct her same-sex abusive relationship, I do think it is overly generous to describe this book as "experimental" (other people's words, not mine). There are many things about this book that I think most people have not seen incorporated into the same book (i.e. use of the second person, blending memoir and speculative, and nonlinear narrative) but taken as a whole, I think this ended up being a rather straightforward read that felt, at times, almost gimmicky.
One of the things I love best in a really good memoir is the act of excavation, the peeling back of particular memories layer by layer in order to see the innermost structure of the person writing it. While I do think this had moments of that, I thought that so many chapters of this memoir relied too heavily on the reader's own understanding of the specific narrative trope being used rather than CMM's relationship to the trope and her abuser. Chapters ended up being a little too short, a little too shallow for me to get a grasp on what CMM was trying to do here: Is it just a way to tell her story in ways readers might understand (ultimately a pretty standard use of metaphor) or something else? And if something else, then what?
I did enjoy a lot of this memoir, and think it is an important read. I wouldn't call this unflinching, in the sense that CMM seems to flinch a lot while writing this memoir, but I think that her vulnerability is one of the more admirable aspects of it. Ultimately though, I wish she had taken that place of vulnerability a little further in some respects, as the use of all of these "experimental" techniques obfuscates the underlying horror of abuse: it can happen to anyone, it can be perpetrated by anyone.
This review and the subsequent rating might change as I gather my thoughts. I always feel bad rating memoirs but this is not a judgement on the author as a person, nor does it mean I believe her any less.
Full disclosure: I do not always get along with Carmen Maria Machado's writing. I had trouble getting through her most well-known book, [b:Her Body and Other Parties|33375622|Her Body and Other Parties|Carmen Maria Machado|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1485266434l/33375622._SX50_.jpg|54116423], and ended up putting it down indefinitely. I like her ideas, I like the way she writes, but something about it doesn't gel with me when she puts it together.
I have pretty similar feelings about this book. While I love the idea of using the "dream house" in conjunction with various narrative tropes to frame and deconstruct her same-sex abusive relationship, I do think it is overly generous to describe this book as "experimental" (other people's words, not mine). There are many things about this book that I think most people have not seen incorporated into the same book (i.e. use of the second person, blending memoir and speculative, and nonlinear narrative) but taken as a whole, I think this ended up being a rather straightforward read that felt, at times, almost gimmicky.
One of the things I love best in a really good memoir is the act of excavation, the peeling back of particular memories layer by layer in order to see the innermost structure of the person writing it. While I do think this had moments of that, I thought that so many chapters of this memoir relied too heavily on the reader's own understanding of the specific narrative trope being used rather than CMM's relationship to the trope and her abuser. Chapters ended up being a little too short, a little too shallow for me to get a grasp on what CMM was trying to do here: Is it just a way to tell her story in ways readers might understand (ultimately a pretty standard use of metaphor) or something else? And if something else, then what?
I did enjoy a lot of this memoir, and think it is an important read. I wouldn't call this unflinching, in the sense that CMM seems to flinch a lot while writing this memoir, but I think that her vulnerability is one of the more admirable aspects of it. Ultimately though, I wish she had taken that place of vulnerability a little further in some respects, as the use of all of these "experimental" techniques obfuscates the underlying horror of abuse: it can happen to anyone, it can be perpetrated by anyone.
girlkisser2005's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.5
monimo's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
4.5