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elisabeth_julia's review against another edition
5.0
“Girls will be Girls” is feminist non-fiction that primarily deals with the topic of gender: Variety of gender, gender-performance, gender-stereotypes and how to break free of traditional views on gender.
After finishing “Girls will be Girls” I had to digest it afterwards for quite a while. I think I sat there for two hours talking my husband’s ear off about what I just learnt. I am due with a brand new fresh newborn baby girl in a little less than two months and how to raise her in a men’s world has definitely been subject of several discussions I had with my husband.
The book didn’t just make me contemplate once again how to raise a girl but also the way I have been raised by my parents – and society. “Girls will be Girls” made me ask myself some rather uncomfortable questions:
How much real ME is there underneath all the conditioned gender performance?
I don’t know if I will ever even be able to answer that one – or if anyone can. Nobody is a hermit. We’re social creatures. We can’t exist outside of that. Society affects our every aspect of life and the way we express our gender and sexuality is no exception.
One centre-argument O’ Toole makes is that gender and sexuality should be viewed as a spectrum rather than a binary (man/woman, heterosexual/homosexual). That thought was completely new to me and actually blew my mind a little. It just makes so much more sense that way!
Feminist books can become quite repetitive after a while. It doesn’t happen often that I feel like something new has been added to the debate. “Girls will be Girls” however does give the feminist debate a new angle that I found fascinating.
I could go into so much more depth in this review here. The author makes so many intelligent observations and cleverly points out pretty much everything that is wrong with the world (some example keywords here are waxing and obsession with boobs).
All the meanwhile “Girls will be Girls” isn’t the least bit condescending or preachy. It is honest, direct, angry, but also hilarious, positive and most importantly: Real.
I finished reading this book feeling mentally stimulated and enriched and motivated for some refreshing change, which is all I could possibly want from a book like that. Five glowing stars!
I can highly recommend the audio book version of “Girls will be Girls”. The narration is just brilliant!
After finishing “Girls will be Girls” I had to digest it afterwards for quite a while. I think I sat there for two hours talking my husband’s ear off about what I just learnt. I am due with a brand new fresh newborn baby girl in a little less than two months and how to raise her in a men’s world has definitely been subject of several discussions I had with my husband.
The book didn’t just make me contemplate once again how to raise a girl but also the way I have been raised by my parents – and society. “Girls will be Girls” made me ask myself some rather uncomfortable questions:
How much real ME is there underneath all the conditioned gender performance?
I don’t know if I will ever even be able to answer that one – or if anyone can. Nobody is a hermit. We’re social creatures. We can’t exist outside of that. Society affects our every aspect of life and the way we express our gender and sexuality is no exception.
One centre-argument O’ Toole makes is that gender and sexuality should be viewed as a spectrum rather than a binary (man/woman, heterosexual/homosexual). That thought was completely new to me and actually blew my mind a little. It just makes so much more sense that way!
Feminist books can become quite repetitive after a while. It doesn’t happen often that I feel like something new has been added to the debate. “Girls will be Girls” however does give the feminist debate a new angle that I found fascinating.
I could go into so much more depth in this review here. The author makes so many intelligent observations and cleverly points out pretty much everything that is wrong with the world (some example keywords here are waxing and obsession with boobs).
All the meanwhile “Girls will be Girls” isn’t the least bit condescending or preachy. It is honest, direct, angry, but also hilarious, positive and most importantly: Real.
I finished reading this book feeling mentally stimulated and enriched and motivated for some refreshing change, which is all I could possibly want from a book like that. Five glowing stars!
I can highly recommend the audio book version of “Girls will be Girls”. The narration is just brilliant!
zoekyriacou's review against another edition
4.0
Activism and humour, very funny book! Accessible writing and great introductory foundations of gender, sexuality and feminism. Also found the argument very persuasive and empowering. Great read :)
aimeesbookishlife's review against another edition
4.0
Part memoir and part essay, this is a clever and fresh look at gender roles.
Emer O'Toole uses her background in theatre to explore how we 'perform' our genders, and talks about her experiences of putting on traditionally masculine and feminine 'costumes' to see how it would affect how she feels and how she is perceived by others and explore why we feel the need to do certain things in order to perform our genders the way society expects us to.
This is a very readable book and it explains feminist theory in a very accessible way, perfect for people new to the subject or who don't have the time or inclination to wade through heavy academic books. I particularly enjoyed the way the author brings in the theories of Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget through a series of pretend letters, as this made it a lot less dry than it otherwise could have been. I do wish there had been a little more theory and a little less memoir though, as the only other theorist mentioned in detail is Judith Butler and although Butler is great I would have been interested to know who else has written on this subject.
O'Toole's experiments with performing gender were really interesting, especially as I wouldn't have considered myself particularly 'feminine' (I don't wear make-up and I have never felt the need to get a fake tan or bikini wax). Hearing about how she spent three days in various salons trying to reach the epitome of 'femininity' was eye-opening and I admit feeling a little bit superior for having been able to escape the pressure of looking perfect.
But the book didn't let me get away with feeling like that. It made me question why I feel fine leaving the house without doing my hair but would never EVER dare to bare unshaven armpits (something O'Toole did on national television), even in my own home. I realised that so many things I think I am doing out of choice - shaving my legs because I like them better without hair, for instance - is actually just me conforming to the way I am expected to look.
I don't think I will start dressing as a boy or "getting my pits out for the lads" any time soon, but I think it's good to recognise that we all do things because we have been conditioned to, even when we think we are acting out of choice.
Emer O'Toole uses her background in theatre to explore how we 'perform' our genders, and talks about her experiences of putting on traditionally masculine and feminine 'costumes' to see how it would affect how she feels and how she is perceived by others and explore why we feel the need to do certain things in order to perform our genders the way society expects us to.
This is a very readable book and it explains feminist theory in a very accessible way, perfect for people new to the subject or who don't have the time or inclination to wade through heavy academic books. I particularly enjoyed the way the author brings in the theories of Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget through a series of pretend letters, as this made it a lot less dry than it otherwise could have been. I do wish there had been a little more theory and a little less memoir though, as the only other theorist mentioned in detail is Judith Butler and although Butler is great I would have been interested to know who else has written on this subject.
O'Toole's experiments with performing gender were really interesting, especially as I wouldn't have considered myself particularly 'feminine' (I don't wear make-up and I have never felt the need to get a fake tan or bikini wax). Hearing about how she spent three days in various salons trying to reach the epitome of 'femininity' was eye-opening and I admit feeling a little bit superior for having been able to escape the pressure of looking perfect.
But the book didn't let me get away with feeling like that. It made me question why I feel fine leaving the house without doing my hair but would never EVER dare to bare unshaven armpits (something O'Toole did on national television), even in my own home. I realised that so many things I think I am doing out of choice - shaving my legs because I like them better without hair, for instance - is actually just me conforming to the way I am expected to look.
I don't think I will start dressing as a boy or "getting my pits out for the lads" any time soon, but I think it's good to recognise that we all do things because we have been conditioned to, even when we think we are acting out of choice.
dawnlizreads's review against another edition
3.0
O'Toole makes some very interesting, thought-provoking arguments about what it means to be a "girl" (basically, "feminine" - and "masculine" - traits are learnt behaviours that have nothing to do with actual biological sex). While I don't think I could bring myself to not conform to female gender norms by not shaving my armpits (as O'Toole has done), I am inspired to be more comfortable about not conforming to gender norms in other ways. For example, I've never been one for fashion or wearing lots of make-up - something that I've always felt a bit embarrassed about because I felt I was somehow failing to be a proper "girl". But according to O'Toole's argument, the traditional concept of a girl is just a social construct anyway and damaging for gender equality if it is rigidly adhered to. That's not to say she's against being a "girly girl" but more women need to be aware that it's a performance - and they can choose to perform in a different way should they wish to (O'Toole is much better explaining this than I am).
However, I did find her arguments a bit OTT at time and bordering on the preaching. She lost me completely when talking about sexual identity. I thought her argument that heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality etc. are social constructs (just as "male" and "female" are social constructs") wasn't that convincing; she seems to be suggesting we're all "queer"(which, as far as I understand it, means fancying people because of the person they are; independent of their anatomy) and it's society that makes us think otherwise. We probably all are on a spectrum but it's down to the individual to decide where they fall on the spectrum. If someone only wants to have same-sex relationships or only opposite-sex relationships,* that's up to them (just as it's perfectly OK to identify as queer). It's a tad patronising to suggest that they are being 100% straight (for want of a better word) or 100% gay because of the binary society that they are in (again, O'Toole is much better explaining her arguments than I am).
I discovered this book through the Reads and Daydreams BookTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1aNlwOittwJH3qMP4XUkoQ
* = I mean a relationship with someone who has a different gender identity from you - not necessarily a "boy/girl" relationship.
However, I did find her arguments a bit OTT at time and bordering on the preaching. She lost me completely when talking about sexual identity. I thought her argument that heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality etc. are social constructs (just as "male" and "female" are social constructs") wasn't that convincing; she seems to be suggesting we're all "queer"(which, as far as I understand it, means fancying people because of the person they are; independent of their anatomy) and it's society that makes us think otherwise. We probably all are on a spectrum but it's down to the individual to decide where they fall on the spectrum. If someone only wants to have same-sex relationships or only opposite-sex relationships,* that's up to them (just as it's perfectly OK to identify as queer). It's a tad patronising to suggest that they are being 100% straight (for want of a better word) or 100% gay because of the binary society that they are in (again, O'Toole is much better explaining her arguments than I am).
I discovered this book through the Reads and Daydreams BookTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1aNlwOittwJH3qMP4XUkoQ
* = I mean a relationship with someone who has a different gender identity from you - not necessarily a "boy/girl" relationship.
sammy135's review against another edition
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.0
homosatirist's review against another edition
3.0
definitely see this as a great introduction to gender for teenagers and young adults who aren’t too experienced in the field, while i enjoyed the book i found it slightly base level
persnickety_9's review against another edition
4.0
Great book; it really made me think about why I make the choices I do as a woman. I think it has helped me to analyze how much I do because I think it's womanly as opposed to if it's comfortable for me.