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llynn66's review
3.0
When I became an adult orphan last summer, I was confronted with a 'problem' so huge that I did not know how to even take the first step toward 'solving' it. The problem was: my parents were dead. The people I loved so very, very much and who held the keys to my life story and to my heart -- were gone. It was (and remains) a situation that I found to be intolerable and unbelievable (even though it is not exactly a surprise that parents eventually die.) In what has to be a reflexive response in me -- a lifetime reader -- I turned to books and I have begun a reading journey about parental loss.
I am sure the topic is tedious and depressing to anyone who has not yet confronted this loss. I blame no one who is not sitting in the Adult Orphan Train for skipping over these titles and the accompanying reviews. You will get to them eventually and I recommend later rather than sooner.
For those of us who are 'here', there is a level of comfort to be gained in meeting and hearing from others who are living with this pain and forging onward. I have met these people in real life and I am also 'meeting' them through the pages of these books. When my mom died...3 weeks after my father...I realized that: A. I have never felt so alone and vulnerable in my life. and that B. Countless billions have already gone through this loss. In the larger sense, I (and my sister) are far from being 'alone'. It is an odd paradox.
Some of the multitude of adult orphans are, of course, 'people of note'. In this compendium, the author has interviewed various people who are celebrated in public life about the loss of their parents. It is interesting to hear from a variety of noted people from various walks of life who are living with the loss of their parents. As in the stories I hear from people in 'real life' -- these contributors have wildly different experiences with loss and also in the relationships they had with their parents. Some of them had distant or troubled relationships with their mom or dad...but still they grieve. Some lost their parents quite young and have had many years to work through the event...but still they grieve. Some lost their parents many years apart and others lost them simultaneously...and still they grieve. Some lost their parents to the standard diseases of old age. Others lost their parents to accidents, terror attacks or murder-suicides. They all grieve.
They all grieve a little differently and they all turn to different support systems. Some turn to surviving family members, others turn to religion, and others turn to creative outlets. Always Too Soon basically reinforces the idea that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to work through loss.
I found this book to be less helpful as a 'you might be experiencing this and it is normal' sort of self help book and more of a browsing book. It is a good book to have for a daily meditation type of exercise. Each essay can be read quickly in a matter of a few minutes. Each gives the reader some ideas to ponder for that moment.
I would encourage Adult Orphans to do some reading...which leads to contemplation and processing. It does seem to help. At life's loneliest times there is comfort in hearing the supportive voices of others who have experienced loneliness in a similar way.
I am sure the topic is tedious and depressing to anyone who has not yet confronted this loss. I blame no one who is not sitting in the Adult Orphan Train for skipping over these titles and the accompanying reviews. You will get to them eventually and I recommend later rather than sooner.
For those of us who are 'here', there is a level of comfort to be gained in meeting and hearing from others who are living with this pain and forging onward. I have met these people in real life and I am also 'meeting' them through the pages of these books. When my mom died...3 weeks after my father...I realized that: A. I have never felt so alone and vulnerable in my life. and that B. Countless billions have already gone through this loss. In the larger sense, I (and my sister) are far from being 'alone'. It is an odd paradox.
Some of the multitude of adult orphans are, of course, 'people of note'. In this compendium, the author has interviewed various people who are celebrated in public life about the loss of their parents. It is interesting to hear from a variety of noted people from various walks of life who are living with the loss of their parents. As in the stories I hear from people in 'real life' -- these contributors have wildly different experiences with loss and also in the relationships they had with their parents. Some of them had distant or troubled relationships with their mom or dad...but still they grieve. Some lost their parents quite young and have had many years to work through the event...but still they grieve. Some lost their parents many years apart and others lost them simultaneously...and still they grieve. Some lost their parents to the standard diseases of old age. Others lost their parents to accidents, terror attacks or murder-suicides. They all grieve.
They all grieve a little differently and they all turn to different support systems. Some turn to surviving family members, others turn to religion, and others turn to creative outlets. Always Too Soon basically reinforces the idea that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to work through loss.
I found this book to be less helpful as a 'you might be experiencing this and it is normal' sort of self help book and more of a browsing book. It is a good book to have for a daily meditation type of exercise. Each essay can be read quickly in a matter of a few minutes. Each gives the reader some ideas to ponder for that moment.
I would encourage Adult Orphans to do some reading...which leads to contemplation and processing. It does seem to help. At life's loneliest times there is comfort in hearing the supportive voices of others who have experienced loneliness in a similar way.
willwrite4chocolate's review
4.0
I didn't find this book as helpful as I hoped I would. Unfortunately I've already returned it to the library so I can't find the exact quote or who it was that said it, but I think it was Mariel Hemingway. She talked about being an orphan and finally realizing that you had to grow up. That line was a sweet drink of water that made all the essays worth reading.
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