Reviews with content warning for Pandemic/Epidemic - Even If It Breaks Your Heart

Even If It Breaks Your Heart is my fourth novel by Erin Hahn and once again she has written an emotional story that pulls at my heartstrings. While it technically sits in the young adult genre, I thought this dual point of view novel read older with weighty subjects and mature teens who’ve already graduated from high school all wrapped in the fascinating world of ranching and bull riding.

Set in my home state of Texas, this is not a part of Texas I am familiar with. I grew up in a small town that is now much bigger, and while I went to school with kids who lived on ranches or farms, I have never ridden a horse and I’ve only been to the rodeo a handful of times. So it was fun to experience a different kind of Texas.

We meet Case six months after the death of his childhood best friend Walker who has died from a years-long terminal illness. Walker had a list of things he wanted to accomplish and when he didn’t get to finish it, he left it to Case. This is my second book this year with the list trope and I read a few last year, as well, and I’m actually hoping to get a break from them for a while. It’s a cute and practical technique, but I don’t know how realistic it really is. Thankfully this story doesn’t rely too heavily on the list, and it’s more of just a thing that enhances the main plot.

Case is in a bad way, making bad decisions until he gets to the last point on Walker’s list—befriend Winnie Sutton, a former classmate who is employed on his father’s ranch. Walker and Winnie had been casual friends and he knew she was having a hard time and could use a friend, much like he knew Case would in the future. Sweet, right? I did find it a little hard to believe that Case didn’t know Walker and Winnie were friends when Case and Walker were described as inseparable. It was also a little hard to get past the fact that Case didn’t know Winnie existed even though he attended school with her and she’d worked on his ranch for a few years. Part of me wanted Winnie to keep ignoring the entitled cowboy.

But Case does manage to change his bad boy ways. Although, a little too quickly in my opinion—I wanted a bit more of a transition. And Winnie finds it hard to resist the charming sad cowboy, recognizing a kindred spirit who also needs a friend.

Winnie has less time to worry about Case, though. She’s been raising her two younger siblings on her own because her father works nights and doesn’t do much to help out. Since Case has finally noticed Winnie, he has also noticed that she’s excellent on a horse and thinks she should be competing, making it his mission to help her try.

While this book is sweet and perfectly fine as a young adult novel, I kind of wish it would have been written as an adult one. The characters could have been aged up a few years, and with the heavier subject matter, the author could have leaned into that a bit more.

I was mostly satisfied and happy with the ending—and I feel like I’m starting to sound like a broken record here—but I wish some of the relationships between our main characters and the side characters hadn’t wrapped up quite so neatly. I know most readers want their endings wrapped up with a nice shiny bow, but I am discovering that’s not always me. Sometimes I want books to reflect real life just a bit more.

If you’re a fan of Hahn’s or need a sad cowboy love story in your life, pick up Even If It Breaks Your Heart. Compelling, romantic, and different, I think it’s one that will stick with me for a good while.

I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. Thank you to Wednesday Books and Netgalley for providing me with an advance copy.

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Content Warnings

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adventurous challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

**thanks to St. Martin’s for sending an advanced copy of this in exchange for an honest review!**

I should start by saying I’m an Erin Hahn stan and think she’s criminally underrated and under-marketed. I was tossed an ARC of her debut years ago and I’ve been on this train ever since. That said, when I received the galley for this one, I put off reading it. Not because I thought it would be bad (impossible) but because I read the description and the title and if there’s one thing Hahn can do better than most, it’s break your heart. If you are not emotionally ready for teens dealing with things way way above what’s fair, this might not be the book for you. BUT if you’re still in after reading the description, this is a treasure. It’s sweet and harsh all at once. You feel what the characters feel, whether that’s abject loss or the thrill of riding in the rodeo. It’s real life but in a book with a happy and hopeful ending.

Hahn has a knack for writing teenagers as people. They’re not always right (most of the time, they are wrong) but they’re also not just thinking like adults we’re supposed to believe are 18. Winnie Sutton is flawed. Case Michaels is very flawed. They grow together in a way that’s really wonderful. This is a story of survivors and realizing you can have the life you want, not just the one you were dealt, if you find the right team. More than that it’s about living life on your own terms, in a healthy way with whatever dream you currently have. And, it’s done in a way that hurts and heals and makes you yell at your kindle because life isn’t fair and they’re just trying their best.

I read EIBYH in one sitting on my couch which is debatably an unhealthy way to read it but I needed to get to the happy ending and man, this burn is slow. Deserved and earned slowness, but slow. Overall, this might not be my favorite of Hahn’s books just because so much of it hurts to read, but I think it might be one of (if not) her best. There’s something in the way she tells this story that makes your heart ache, makes you angry at both characters and the world and then three pages later makes you swoon. It’s so very real in the best way.

I’ve heard thatHahn is taking a break from YA after this one but I hope she gets to come back to it at some point. Not that I don’t love her adult romcoms (I do), but these are books I want teens to have.

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