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This Is Not My Life: A Memoir of Love, Prison, and Other Complications by Diane Schoemperlen
marypetersonbennett's review
3.0
I didn't love this as much as other books by Schoemperlen. Felt it was too long at 374 pages, although it did give the feeling she must have had in this 5-year troubled relationship.
It certainly made her point about giving a critique on the prison system in Canada within an interesting and sometimes humorous narrative.
It certainly made her point about giving a critique on the prison system in Canada within an interesting and sometimes humorous narrative.
megan_prairierose's review
4.0
I'm not sure how to write a review about someone's life. This book was like a car accident, it was horrific but I couldn't help but watch. So many times I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and ask her "what are you doing?!?!". But so many women have been in relationships with "bad boys" that are a total train wreck but when you're in the eye of the hurricane it's hard to see objectively. I was totally emerged with her story and spent a lot of time thinking about this book when I wasn't reading it.
Secondly, I learned a lot of about the parole system in Canada. I didn't realise that parolees needed so much paper work and needed to check in all the time. I guess I just didn't give it much thought. I was aware of prison cuts, as I have a family member who works at a federal prison, but this book gave me more information.
Overall, kindness and compassion go a long way but don't be afraid to say I love you, and I deserve to be treated better. I was glad to be a part of the author's journey.
Secondly, I learned a lot of about the parole system in Canada. I didn't realise that parolees needed so much paper work and needed to check in all the time. I guess I just didn't give it much thought. I was aware of prison cuts, as I have a family member who works at a federal prison, but this book gave me more information.
Overall, kindness and compassion go a long way but don't be afraid to say I love you, and I deserve to be treated better. I was glad to be a part of the author's journey.
burnt_amber89's review
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.0
I love reading books about prisons, especially true stories, and found this one really interesting and different. First of all, it was well written and straightforward, and it was always easy to keep track of what is happening and of who is who. However, I did find some of the stylistic choices a little odd at times.
Secondly, the story in itself was enlightening. Some parts may be triggering to a certain audience, since it touches on abuse, gaslighting, stalking and violence. The quick, yet imperceptible (to the author) change in their relationship is explained in a way that makes the reader understand how easy it can be to be stuck in an abusive relationship.
However, the thing that really sets this book apart from the other books about prison I have read is the fact that here , the prison world is seen from the exterior. It really made me realize how prison is not only a punishment for those who are incarcerated, but also to their loved ones. The stigma is pernicious: ranging from the unapproving glare of family and friends, the fact that they sometimes have to travel hundreds of kilometers a day for a visit, several times a week, the lack of intimacy, the long, tedious and stressful procedures before the actual visit, the fact that every aspect of the relationship has to be known by the authorities, and the list goes on... I find this theme to be rarely explored in the literature, yet of utter importance. The author also reflects briefly on the political aspect of prison, and how drastically a change of government can affect thousands of people.
Overall, I would really recommend this book to anyone, especially those who think that hard policies should be implemented. This is a profoundly humane book, one that shows how people actually deal with trauma and being incarcerated for decades.
Secondly, the story in itself was enlightening. Some parts may be triggering to a certain audience, since it touches on abuse, gaslighting, stalking and violence. The quick, yet imperceptible (to the author) change in their relationship is explained in a way that makes the reader understand how easy it can be to be stuck in an abusive relationship.
However, the thing that really sets this book apart from the other books about prison I have read is the fact that here , the prison world is seen from the exterior. It really made me realize how prison is not only a punishment for those who are incarcerated, but also to their loved ones. The stigma is pernicious: ranging from the unapproving glare of family and friends, the fact that they sometimes have to travel hundreds of kilometers a day for a visit, several times a week, the lack of intimacy, the long, tedious and stressful procedures before the actual visit, the fact that every aspect of the relationship has to be known by the authorities, and the list goes on... I find this theme to be rarely explored in the literature, yet of utter importance. The author also reflects briefly on the political aspect of prison, and how drastically a change of government can affect thousands of people.
Overall, I would really recommend this book to anyone, especially those who think that hard policies should be implemented. This is a profoundly humane book, one that shows how people actually deal with trauma and being incarcerated for decades.
sam_griffin's review
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.0
I've said it 1000 times, but this time I mean it... I'm going to read the books i own!!
miramichireader's review
5.0
This is Not My Life is one of the best books I have read this year. It was one of those books that you begrudgingly put down (sleep, life and work must go on!) and couldn't wait to pick it up again. Ms. Schoemperlen could have created a masterful work of fiction out of her experience, but she chose to candidly write this as a memoir and it is due to this choice that the book's emotional impact really comes to the fore. I had to keep reminding myself that what I was holding was not a novel, but a true story!
I'm sure that this book will be shortlisted and win numerous awards. It will definitely appeal to anyone who has ever been in a relationship that turned toxic, as well as those inquisitive about life behind those cement walls and chain link fences of a federal institution. This is Not My Life is full of various personal and private conflicts, laughs and tears, moments of bliss and times of daunting reality. Highly recommended.
You can view my full review here at the Miramichi Reader: http://wp.me/p60sTD-Cq
I'm sure that this book will be shortlisted and win numerous awards. It will definitely appeal to anyone who has ever been in a relationship that turned toxic, as well as those inquisitive about life behind those cement walls and chain link fences of a federal institution. This is Not My Life is full of various personal and private conflicts, laughs and tears, moments of bliss and times of daunting reality. Highly recommended.
You can view my full review here at the Miramichi Reader: http://wp.me/p60sTD-Cq
dianacarmel's review
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
This memoir is interesting and informative but I didn’t enjoy the writing style - I can appreciate that the author is a well-known fiction writer, and that is evident in her stylistic choices here.
leftoverjen's review
4.0
The twelfth book from Governor General’s Award-winning author Diane Schoemperlen, This is Not My Life is a candid examination of one of the author’s less successful relationships. Often frustratingly relatable, This is Not My Life chronicles the stages of love between Diane and Shane from cute, flirty, and awash in butterflying stomachs all the way through rough, manipulative, and downright abusive. The couple meet while volunteering at a local Kingstonian soup kitchen called Vinnie’s, where the mantra Don’t judge. Don’t assume. is drilled into the heads of everyone washing dishes, peeling potatoes, or sorting through the basement full of donations. As Schoemperlen herself wonders, perhaps it was this mantra that let her put aside any misgivings she would normally have about beginning a relationship with Shane. Her apprehension might have been more pronounced: at the time of their meeting, Shane had already been in prison for 30 years for robbery and second-degree murder.
Read the rest of my review http://bit.ly/2p0JvrM
Read the rest of my review http://bit.ly/2p0JvrM