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dunnadam's review against another edition
3.0
Good, just not really my thing. There have been times in my life was I was very into a spiritual journey and emotional enlightenment but I'm not in one of those times now. Mock is a very feminine woman, a girly girl, and at this exact point in my life not something I can really relate to.
I read this to get more understanding of the trans identity and journey and what I've gotten from this book and TV shows I've watched is that trans people are that gender. They may have been born not looking like their gender but they are and once the correction happens, there's really not much more to the story after that. Mock was a woman, is a woman, and will always be a woman, that's kind of it.
The story of Mock's transition had hurdles but none that seemed huge. Along the way she shared some valuable insight I could relate to as a gay man:
"My father, though he didn't have the words, couldn't understand why I would choose to be feminine when masculinity was privileged."
"I had faulted Mom for not living up to the image that I had projected onto her, the image of the perfect mother I felt she should've been for me. No one was able to live up to that ideal because that woman did not exist."
And occasionally over-flowers her comments. Comparing her own sexual abuse to the book The Color Purple, the author says:
"And though I am unable to carry a child like Celie, I, too, was pregnant with trauma and fear."
Emotionally pregnant is not something high up on my list.
I thought the best part of the book was detailing Mock's surgery at the end of the book as it seemed really scary to fly so far alone for such a big ordeal. It also made me think. I've always said that gender reassignment surgery should be covered by our national health plan as it was an essential operation. I'm wavering on that a little. I'm not saying it shouldn't be covered as I don't know enough but I now question where it ends. I know trans women who have had injections and facial feminization surgery. For example, should gender reassignment be covered but surgery to trim the adam's apple not be? I'm no longer sure where the line is between necessary surgery and cosmetic surgery. What makes a woman? Along these lines how much is surgery chasing an impossible dream of beauty that isn't realistic. When you have the bottom surgery are you still not happy as it doesn't look real enough? Even for trans women who can pass as cis, do they still hate their feet, or upper arms? Some element of your happiness ultimately has to come from inside as the media's idea of feminine perfection is unattainable for cis women, let alone trans women.
Still for the book, Mock seems a happy and well adjusted woman, if a little overly cautious in her choice of words and terms for me. At the same time there's a lot of haters, read the reviews, people calling her rich and privileged, not speaking for them and their lives, etc. I remember reading Dan Savage's book and thinking "Why is he defending homosexuality so much, who the hell does he think is reading this book???" and a bit of that happened here too.
ONE MORE THING! Reading this book Mock mentions a few times how the LGBT community has too many white gay men and she didn't feel represented, or the trans community again has too many white folks or upper class people. Ironically in the reviews here people are saying Mock is too rich now, or too fish, and doesn't represent them. The time for this cycle to end could be now.
I read this to get more understanding of the trans identity and journey and what I've gotten from this book and TV shows I've watched is that trans people are that gender. They may have been born not looking like their gender but they are and once the correction happens, there's really not much more to the story after that. Mock was a woman, is a woman, and will always be a woman, that's kind of it.
The story of Mock's transition had hurdles but none that seemed huge. Along the way she shared some valuable insight I could relate to as a gay man:
"My father, though he didn't have the words, couldn't understand why I would choose to be feminine when masculinity was privileged."
"I had faulted Mom for not living up to the image that I had projected onto her, the image of the perfect mother I felt she should've been for me. No one was able to live up to that ideal because that woman did not exist."
And occasionally over-flowers her comments. Comparing her own sexual abuse to the book The Color Purple, the author says:
"And though I am unable to carry a child like Celie, I, too, was pregnant with trauma and fear."
Emotionally pregnant is not something high up on my list.
I thought the best part of the book was detailing Mock's surgery at the end of the book as it seemed really scary to fly so far alone for such a big ordeal. It also made me think. I've always said that gender reassignment surgery should be covered by our national health plan as it was an essential operation. I'm wavering on that a little. I'm not saying it shouldn't be covered as I don't know enough but I now question where it ends. I know trans women who have had injections and facial feminization surgery. For example, should gender reassignment be covered but surgery to trim the adam's apple not be? I'm no longer sure where the line is between necessary surgery and cosmetic surgery. What makes a woman? Along these lines how much is surgery chasing an impossible dream of beauty that isn't realistic. When you have the bottom surgery are you still not happy as it doesn't look real enough? Even for trans women who can pass as cis, do they still hate their feet, or upper arms? Some element of your happiness ultimately has to come from inside as the media's idea of feminine perfection is unattainable for cis women, let alone trans women.
Still for the book, Mock seems a happy and well adjusted woman, if a little overly cautious in her choice of words and terms for me. At the same time there's a lot of haters, read the reviews, people calling her rich and privileged, not speaking for them and their lives, etc. I remember reading Dan Savage's book and thinking "Why is he defending homosexuality so much, who the hell does he think is reading this book???" and a bit of that happened here too.
ONE MORE THING! Reading this book Mock mentions a few times how the LGBT community has too many white gay men and she didn't feel represented, or the trans community again has too many white folks or upper class people. Ironically in the reviews here people are saying Mock is too rich now, or too fish, and doesn't represent them. The time for this cycle to end could be now.
jaealey's review
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Transphobia, Dysphoria, Sexual assault, Homophobia, Physical abuse, and Rape
thekategaze's review
5.0
🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
I cried so hard. I don’t have anything coherent to say just yet so I will come back when I’ve had more time to put my thoughts in order but I loved this a lot.
I cried so hard. I don’t have anything coherent to say just yet so I will come back when I’ve had more time to put my thoughts in order but I loved this a lot.
lissalogic's review
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.75
nickscoby's review against another edition
4.0
This is one of those books that make me want to build a whole class around it, like "Contemporary Black Feminism." Honestly, I was not at all familiar with Janet Mock before a friend recommended this book, and now I am a huge fan and supporter. This book is so timely and smart while at the same time accessible. I love how easily Mock integrates quotes from literary as well as pop culture figures. A truly seminal text. p.s. Mock also was a first-gen student, and I wish that she had spent more time discussing her college experiences.
handmaderiot's review against another edition
5.0
Highly recommend the audiobook read by Janet Mock. The writing is beautiful and her reading is so soothing. The book is honest, funny, and at times gut wrenching. I definitely teared up a number of times.