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buttontapper's review
1.0
I'm going to press on with this, but seriously... don't write books in the 2nd person (i.e. "You blah blah blah."). Ever.
omnibozo22's review
5.0
Ha! Lots of noir fun... if one had read a lot of noir detective stories and seen a lot of noir film. Right from the opening pages the tone is set for a Marlowe story, or a Bogart one, or a Cagney one, or a Stanwyck one. Crazy funny as the dimwitted detective bumbles his way into getting blackjacked day after day. For a sample: "Rats emerged warily out of the shadows. A scrawny unshaven grifter with a short gimpy leg, paranoid eyes, and a permanent sneer, carved there with a knife. It's the kind of face you'd be wearing if your face read the way you felt about the way things were." The wacky ending is classic.
blackoxford's review
2.0
The Gumshoe Game
You knew it was a set-up as soon as you walked into the room. Dark. Real dark. No windows. A clammy feeling. Very few verbs to be heard from the cheap Muzak; at least none with more than too syllables.
You’re a dick. Some cop said to be here. He’s a dick too. Only part-time. So you’re a bigger dick than he is. We should compare sometime. Mano a mano. If you get my drift.
What’s that sound? Someone’s at the door. If he’s packing, you’re screwed. Left the .22 in the car. Being a real dick is dangerous. Too close to death. And he’s a tough customer
What the hell! Tripped on something. Fell hard. Might have broke a tooth. And you not paying the medical premiums. What a jerk.
Oh shit here he comes. And you lying on the floor like a squashed avocado.
Light, blinding light. You’re looking right at it. Burning your eyeballs. Don’t shoot. Don’t shoot. Whatever you want, you got it…
Disculpe, señor. Soy el conserje nocturno. Tengo que limpiar ahora. ¿Puedo preguntarte qué estás haciendo en el suelo del baño de señoras?
You knew it was a set-up as soon as you walked into the room. Dark. Real dark. No windows. A clammy feeling. Very few verbs to be heard from the cheap Muzak; at least none with more than too syllables.
You’re a dick. Some cop said to be here. He’s a dick too. Only part-time. So you’re a bigger dick than he is. We should compare sometime. Mano a mano. If you get my drift.
What’s that sound? Someone’s at the door. If he’s packing, you’re screwed. Left the .22 in the car. Being a real dick is dangerous. Too close to death. And he’s a tough customer
What the hell! Tripped on something. Fell hard. Might have broke a tooth. And you not paying the medical premiums. What a jerk.
Oh shit here he comes. And you lying on the floor like a squashed avocado.
Light, blinding light. You’re looking right at it. Burning your eyeballs. Don’t shoot. Don’t shoot. Whatever you want, you got it…
Disculpe, señor. Soy el conserje nocturno. Tengo que limpiar ahora. ¿Puedo preguntarte qué estás haciendo en el suelo del baño de señoras?
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