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3.42 AVERAGE
3.42 AVERAGE
Better than Unorthodox, mostly because of the last third. A whole lot of nothing happened in most of it but I did enjoy the last bits. I wish she would talk more about her motherhood journey since that has mostly been left out of both books. I would be interested to hear what her life is like now as a German citizen.
I was really excited to find out why happened to Deborah Feldman after she left the Satmar community. I had expected this book to pick up where the last one left off, to learn about the difficult (or perhaps not?) transition into secular life, about the challenges she faced. Instead, this book mostly details the trip to Europe she took to learn about her grandmother's roots. While that was interesting, the themes got a bit repetitive. "Oh, there aren't any Jews here? There's still anti-semitism even though secular/Christian people tell me there isn't?" Well...yeah. It's true, but it came up all over the place and got really tedious.
The other thing is that this book isn't a cohesive narrative. It felt to me like each chapter was a separate essay that she then compiled to make this book. That's fine, but I'm confused a little about the timeline. When did these things happen? Was there just one trip to Europe that felt (to me) like four or five? It's hard to say.
Also: I understand that it's a free world and so on, but the author seems to have had a lot of sexual/romantic encounters since leaving the Satmars. Now, this could seem like more in a short time because, again, no idea what the timeline was, but she mentioned so many men throughout the book. The weirdest bit was when. It was bizarre and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to take away from this, except that she is very confused and hasn't quite come to terms with herself and her history.
It was another interesting look into her life, but I still wish I had more information about her personal struggles leaving the Satmars. A few things are mentioned offhand (like the death threats and her insomnia), but I want to know what obstacles she fought to get to where she is now. Obviously, leaving was a big one, but then what happened? I feel like there's a big gap in the timing and I'm missing something. I guess this is always going to happen and Feldman is, of course, free to leave parts of her life private, but it's still frustrating!
Not a bad read, but again, not quite what I expected, and a little too disjointed for more than a 3 star rating.
The other thing is that this book isn't a cohesive narrative. It felt to me like each chapter was a separate essay that she then compiled to make this book. That's fine, but I'm confused a little about the timeline. When did these things happen? Was there just one trip to Europe that felt (to me) like four or five? It's hard to say.
Also: I understand that it's a free world and so on, but the author seems to have had a lot of sexual/romantic encounters since leaving the Satmars. Now, this could seem like more in a short time because, again, no idea what the timeline was, but she mentioned so many men throughout the book. The weirdest bit was when
Spoiler
she asked some of her German boyfriends to pretend they were Nazis and she was a Jew during WWIIIt was another interesting look into her life, but I still wish I had more information about her personal struggles leaving the Satmars. A few things are mentioned offhand (like the death threats and her insomnia), but I want to know what obstacles she fought to get to where she is now. Obviously, leaving was a big one, but then what happened? I feel like there's a big gap in the timing and I'm missing something. I guess this is always going to happen and Feldman is, of course, free to leave parts of her life private, but it's still frustrating!
Not a bad read, but again, not quite what I expected, and a little too disjointed for more than a 3 star rating.
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
tense
slow-paced
challenging
informative
reflective
slow-paced
emotional
hopeful
reflective
slow-paced
3.5 stars rounded up to 4.
Exodus is a story about the ways we discover and craft our identity when we realize that our old life doesn’t serve us anymore. Unlike Unorthodox, this book focuses less on stories about Feldman’s time in the Satmar Jewish Community and more on her journey to understanding who she is without the framework of religion to define every aspect of her life. I enjoyed her stories about visiting a shaman, speaking with artists, and talking to Jews and non-Jews alike. So much of the story was about the negotiation between having an identity that is wholly defined by your religion and culture vs. the discovery and subsequent work of trying to figure out who you want to be outside of the influence of religion and culture. Her journey through deconstruction is something I found relatable.
I know some people didn’t enjoy this book, and I think that might stem from how jarring the non-linear narrative can feel at times. I found myself unsure of what events preceded others, whereas this was much easier to track in Unorthodox. The nuances of deconstruction don’t have the same immediate appeal as gawking at someone living such a rigid and unique life, but I think there is just as much to be gained from this part of the story. The true issue is that this book doesn’t feel as tidy as Unorthodox. This may be because part of that book was written while Feldman was studying at university, so she was able to get feedback and work on it. Another possibility, which I find more likely, is that Unorthodox was written with no expectation for a sister sequel. It was only after the first book exploded that the second book deal was offered, and a new path needed to be forged.
I enjoyed this book, but it was different than I expected. I think readers going in with an expectation of what they’ll see and hear based on the first book are setting themselves up for disappointment, but if they go in with an open mind, it’s enjoyable!
Exodus is a story about the ways we discover and craft our identity when we realize that our old life doesn’t serve us anymore. Unlike Unorthodox, this book focuses less on stories about Feldman’s time in the Satmar Jewish Community and more on her journey to understanding who she is without the framework of religion to define every aspect of her life. I enjoyed her stories about visiting a shaman, speaking with artists, and talking to Jews and non-Jews alike. So much of the story was about the negotiation between having an identity that is wholly defined by your religion and culture vs. the discovery and subsequent work of trying to figure out who you want to be outside of the influence of religion and culture. Her journey through deconstruction is something I found relatable.
I know some people didn’t enjoy this book, and I think that might stem from how jarring the non-linear narrative can feel at times. I found myself unsure of what events preceded others, whereas this was much easier to track in Unorthodox. The nuances of deconstruction don’t have the same immediate appeal as gawking at someone living such a rigid and unique life, but I think there is just as much to be gained from this part of the story. The true issue is that this book doesn’t feel as tidy as Unorthodox. This may be because part of that book was written while Feldman was studying at university, so she was able to get feedback and work on it. Another possibility, which I find more likely, is that Unorthodox was written with no expectation for a sister sequel. It was only after the first book exploded that the second book deal was offered, and a new path needed to be forged.
I enjoyed this book, but it was different than I expected. I think readers going in with an expectation of what they’ll see and hear based on the first book are setting themselves up for disappointment, but if they go in with an open mind, it’s enjoyable!
adventurous
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
This book started out extremely strong. I loved Unorthodox and immediately reconnected with Feldman in the first chapter as she discusses her vaginismus as well as the sexual and religious trauma that she was attempting to heal from. Around two thirds of the way through, this book started to lose steam. The timeline became unclear and at times very confusing, and the recollections and experiences lost any overarching ideas or threads. I was surprised at some of the absolutely scathing reviews (@Chicago Tribune) that were written about this book, but agree that at some points I was wondering why she chose to include a particular moment that seemed disconnected or mundane. I was careful not to judge though; every survivor has every right to tell their story in the way that makes sense to them. I think some readers may feel frustrated with this book because the last chapter is not a presentation of a healed and whole person. Healing from trauma is a messy ongoing process that may get easier but also may not ever end; it remains a part of our identities. And I think Feldman might have ended the book in this way to remind us of that very fact.