Reviews with content warning for Domestic abuse - The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives

Reviews tagging 'Domestic abuse'

The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives by Lola Shoneyin

13 reviews

bookishevy's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring lighthearted mysterious reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I saw this book on Instagram last month and, after reading the synonsis, had to have it. The audiobook did not disappoint.

The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives tells the story of Baba Segi, an uneducated but hardworking patriarch in Nigeria. Baba Segi has three wives: Iya Segi, Iya Trope and Iya Femi, and seven children. As the title suggests, each of these women has secrets. It's not until he introduces a fourth wife, the college educated Bolanle, that these secrets start to unravel.

The relationships between these wives are made even more complex when Bolanle enters the picture because she's so different from the others. She's educated, and they immediately see her as a threat they need to remove. Baba Segi leaves his wives to their own devices. As long as the chores are done, he's fed, and they are sexually available to him on their night he's happy. He's completely unaware of the battle for supremacy taking place under his roof.

I loved this story. I was going to get a physical copy, but after reading reviews of the audiobook, I downloaded it immediately. Author Shoneyin narrates and performs all of her characters, and I was thoroughly entertained. Each woman tells of how she became Baba Segi's wife and gives her perspective on what it's like living in a polygamist household - how a fourth wife means less time for each of them, having sex with a man who doesn't do foreplay, the pressure of not only giving him children but a male heir - and shares her feelings on the other wives. Every woman has a past, even one as naive as Bolanle. They each have their reasons for being his wife and doing what they do to maintain their marriages and keep a roof over their children's heads. But the first three wives share a secret, and when it comes out, I dare you not to howl with laughter. It's just too good. The hypocrisy, the sabotaging, the betrayal, the drama.

If you enjoy Nigerian soap operas, you would love this audiobook. Shoneyin is great in all of the roles, and her Baba Segi is especially hilarious.

Content Warnings

canascorner's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

ninamanon's review against another edition

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emotional funny reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

What a cleverly crafted story! I enjoyed every inch of it, every point of view, every insight into all the characters. Even if you want to, you can’t hate any of them. The most heinous acts are motivated by the most tragic backstory’s.
What’s so brilliant about this book is that even with the multitude of characters, it was never very hard to distinguish them.
This is a tale about making the most of the hand you were dealt, and maybe above all, humbleness.

Content Warnings

jjjreads's review

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dark informative medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

Content Warnings

serendipitysbooks's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I really enjoyed The Secret Lives Of Baba Segi’s Wives. One of the things that stood out for me was fabulous storytelling which felt strongly linked to an oral storytelling tradition, something no doubt enhanced by my listening to the wonderful audiobook.

Baba Segi, his three wives, and their children live harmoniously, until he introduces a fourth wife to the household, one who is younger and college educated. The three other wives are resentful and determine to get rid of Bolanle, convinced that she thinks she is better than them, and that she is stealing their husband’s time and attention. Meanwhile she seems unable to conceive which is a problem because he values children above all else. As the novel unfolds we learn the backstories of all four women and get to the bottom of Bolanle’s infertility.

This is a story that covers a lot of very heavy topics - domestic abuse, rape, and the death of a child - yet it didn’t feel like an overly heavy read. The heaviness was balanced by humour, frank, sarcastic and sexually open conversations, and a general over-the-top, soap opera like vibe. I couldn’t help admiring the resourcefulness of the women as they sought to gain what they wanted and develop some agency in their lives, while at the same time abhorring some of their actions. Polygamous marriages are not common in the West and I think the author did a great job in portraying the reality, the good and the bad, and why women might consent to entering one.

The story was very much rooted in the Nigerian culture, yet many of its points regarding gender roles and male-female relationships are more universal. Overall this is surprisingly entertaining, while still leaving the reader with something to think about.

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hkburke2's review against another edition

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dark emotional funny medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Such VIVID writing - each character has such a distinct voice. I love a book that slowly unfurls motivations and back story that "makes it make sense." Great listen.

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2treads's review

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challenging sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

4.0

Shoneyin has complete control of her characters, prose, and dialogue. She keeps it tight. She knows exactly how she is approaching their relationships as well as their individual personalities and how each will propel the story.

Baba Segi is an obnoxious and entitled man who has placed each wife and child in specific squares in his life and home as if he was setting a chess board, each move is controlled by his whim or so he believes. It is satisfying and sadistically gratifying to see how Shoneyin uses her sharp prose to effect this.

The four wives are compelling and brilliantly unfailingly human, each having been molded by their upbringing and individual disappointments, hardships, and violation. So to see how they in turn have chosen to retaliate is no surprise, though one wishes it wasn't so.

The ending felt a bit curtailed considering the build-up and left me wanting more, whether more of a blow-up to add to the already present drama of the plot or being privy to the altered behaviour of the wives.

Content Warnings