Reviews with content warning for Child abuse - How to Sell a Haunted House

Reading this book was a bit like being beaten with a wet puppet for 13 hours straight. The author is very good at tension but, in this case, not so good at consistency, logic, and making things make sense. The unreliable narrator motif devolved into characters just acting stupid while being generally unlikeable. That said, there was at least a modicum of complexity to the characters, and the deep POV was spot on. I'd read the author again, but only with a strong recommendation that is a better story.

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thegayestghost's review against another edition

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dark emotional funny mysterious sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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cuppasunshine's review against another edition

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dark funny mysterious medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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haileyhardcover's review against another edition

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adventurous dark emotional funny mysterious sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

How to Sell A Haunted House tells the story of Louise and her brother, Mark, who are grappling with the sudden, violent death of their parents… and all of the many secrets they left behind. This is more than a horror story. It’s about grief, complex family relationships, generational trauma, secrets, and puppets.

So much about this book surprised me in the best way. I wouldn’t say it was scary, per se, but it definitely made my heart race! Multiple times, my jaw dropped, my eyes bulged, and I pterodactyl-screeched at what I was reading. There is another chilling surprise around every corner, and I thoroughly enjoyed the journey.

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rocketsaurus's review against another edition

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challenging dark funny mysterious tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

4.0

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omair's review against another edition

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dark medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

1.5

Coming in at over 400 pages, you would think the the tension from the haunt(s) would be tense and prolonged. But you would be wrong. It left me with a feeling of having read a Goosebumps book, just without the camp and instead a lot of arrogance.

Which is my main contention with the book. The characters spend so much of it in a stubborn, hubris driven interpersonal conflict that it is hard to like any of them for me. To go so many years without seeing your family and to continuously only treat them as if they are the same people they were all those years ago with zero possibility of growing is not a problem with them, it is a problem with you.

I was interested early on, but

after the excruciating detail in which the home and the puppets were described, I was severely disappointed at how blurry the details of the first attack were. No matter, I thought, we're finally to the good part! Nope. Back to the interpersonal relationship drama for pages on end.

Maybe if you like either or both of the main characters, the book would become much more interesting. I did not, so instead,

the repeated arguing was just mud to trudge through. The abrupt shift to the brother's story with a whole chapter of backstory just to get to the reveal that's supposed to be the driver in repairing the sibling relationship was awful. Nearly had to DNF just reading through so much inconsequential mess.

For a title about a haunted house,

there is surprisingly little haunted about the house itself. Or at least that's what you'll believe for 85%. It gets there in the end by pulling some huge shift with zero build up, but regardless this is way more just a haunted puppet story.

Which I can get over... if the puppet was actually memorable, or frightening, or in any way a strong villain in itself. It is not.

Maybe if you find someone yelling peepee poopoo funny, then you might find this book worth it. Otherwise probably not.

Honestly, I should've gone with the DNF about 2/3 of the way through when the first "ending" was reached. I would've missed

some of the important details, the actual emotional resolution, and the only redeeming parts of the story

, but I'd make that trade. The "twist" felt so forced, like it was written with a future movie franchise in mind, but even straight-to-DVD would be too good for this. Instead, the "twist" just opened up significant questions (to put it kindly, otherwise

just call them plot holes)

.

Like Mark's driving, I really feel Grady should just slow down and pick the right lane.

If it's a story about a haunted house, then give us the fear of time in the house experiencing the unnerving. If the story is about an evil puppet, then give us a layered evil that builds to the final standoff. If it's about an otherwise innocent ghost, then give it a more human, nuanced, arc or, at least, give us a reason to believe it would just resort to killing at every opportunity. But in every case, leave out Spider (an imaginary-but-also-real fantasy dog). And leave out the puppet golem.

Those are huge departures from everything else in the story and make a complete mess of the rules of your world. To me, that's where most horror dies its fastest death. Ghosts, zombies, evil puppets, magic, whatever fantastical elements are part of your world - and they are totally valid to have - have to have developed and consistent co-existence with our real world. There has to be some guiding principles, laws, to abide by. Without that, your world will fall flat and lose me from the audience. For anyone else like me, walk away from this book and fast.

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bg_oseman_fan's review against another edition

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dark emotional tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

this book was not what i was expecting based on the title. I initially put it down part way through, but ended up picking it back up and reading to the finish. The writing of the action scenes was not very engaging. I found the attempts to create tension really repetitive such that the twists never really grabbed. as horror, this book didn’t get me. as a story about trauma and intergenerational relationships, i was hooked.

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apoppyinthewind's review against another edition

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dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

The basic premise is that main character Louise gets the call no one wants to get and learns both of her parents have died in a car accident. She has to go back home to deal with the funeral, the estate, and the messed up family she's kept at a distance since moving away decades ago. Her younger and only sibling is the most difficult part as they continually bicker over the estate and past hurts/trauma but it gets a whole lot worse their mother's doll & puppet collection seem to be moving on their own.

So yeah, if horror series like Puppet Master and Chucky freaked you out you'll certainly find this story creepy. Be forewarned there is some eye stuff and body mutilation. And a fuck ton of grief and trauma over losing a parent/parents.

If you've ever had to go through an estate process you may relate hard to Louise's exhaustion and sorrow. At least I did and I think the author accurately captured the experience. My only complaints are: One, I felt like it dragged a bit near the end when Louise's daughter Poppy became a larger part of the story and two, while Mark's background reveal was interesting (and makes me want to know more about radical puppets) it felt disconnected from the story especially with the big reveal at the end. Like, what happened to Louise & Poppy makes sense with the reveal but Mark's made less sense once you know the real reason all these things happened.

Still, I'd recommend it especially if you already like Hendrix's other books.

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