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3.9 AVERAGE
3.9 AVERAGE
I really liked this book. A memoir about a boy growing up and struggling without a clear father figure. He finds his uncle, who is a bartender and grows up in the bar.
I really liked this and may have given it 5 starts but just couldn't because I felt like it didn't really end. It left me wanting more, which I suppose is a good thing. But, it was almost too abrupt. Excellent writing and a nice story.
I highly recommend the audio of this book - the reader was great! I loved this book. It was such a great coming of age story. I laughed out loud a few times but it was heartbreaking at times too. I only dropped from five stars as the last 1/4 dragged on a bit.
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
I recently wrote a review of Heart of Darkness in which I remarked on how tricky it is to rate classics. Rating memoirs is even more difficult. How are you supposed to evaluate someone’s lived experience when you’ve only encountered it secondhand?
I may have been a bit harsh on Conrad, who obviously wrote Marlow with his experiences in the Belgian Congo in mind, but this memoir feels much more intimate and recent. Because, well, it is.
To begin, I believe that all men should read this book. It's a text that we all can learn from, but the lessons it offers about masculinity and manhood aren’t the typical hustle culture or bro-like nonsense. J.R. struggles with loss, heartbreak, fear, and shame—and learns how to address those challenges as a fully formed adult, rather than an underdeveloped peddler of alpha mindsets. J.R.’s fear of success and his tendency to hold himself back from moving forward is something I can relate to personally—not to mention his experiences with romantic love.
Thematically, a passion for words and writing is woven throughout the book. Expression is key. The dialogue moves seamlessly from discussing Socrates, Shakespeare, and Fitzgerald to crass barfly speak, beautifully illustrating that language is an egalitarian endeavor. It doesn’t belong to one class or educated group; it’s the great unifier.
Overall, the pacing feels a bit fast, with a resolution that comes abruptly—but perhaps that’s the point. This isn’t supposed to leave the reader feeling warm and happy. It’s meant to instill a sense of resolve—to face fears and keep moving forward.
A wonderful book, a challenging read, and ultimately, a look in the mirror.
I've always known that New Yorkers think, talk and live a world away from my neck of the woods here in Idaho. This memoir, by an author I have only just met, really nailed down the differences. JR describes his young life, being raised by a single mom & her family in Massenet, NY. Near the city, its a close-knit town where JR's uncle tends the local bar, "Publicans". JR has a great sense of humor and a love of words, but most of all he comes of age the hard way, on his own. I laughed & cried and maybe I understand New Yorkers better now...
3 1/2 stars
I read this for a writing course.
I did not think I would enjoy this, the memoir of a boy growing up without his father, looking for a father figure in every man he comes across, and most of those being ones he met while hanging out at the local bar where his uncle was a bartender. But, I found myself laughing out loud or groaning in frustration at his stories. There are many vivd characters in this memoir and you can feel the love Moehringer has for people and their stories.
The author overcame a lot of his own hangups, self-destructive ways and bad habits to become successful and that is a good reminder of how people can change once they put their mind to it.
I read this for a writing course.
I did not think I would enjoy this, the memoir of a boy growing up without his father, looking for a father figure in every man he comes across, and most of those being ones he met while hanging out at the local bar where his uncle was a bartender. But, I found myself laughing out loud or groaning in frustration at his stories. There are many vivd characters in this memoir and you can feel the love Moehringer has for people and their stories.
The author overcame a lot of his own hangups, self-destructive ways and bad habits to become successful and that is a good reminder of how people can change once they put their mind to it.
I read this for my book group. I never would have picked it up otherwise. It is very well written, managing to keep my attention even though the subject matter didn't do anything for me. It's a 350+ page book, and about 250 of those page are about a guy getting drunk all the time. There was very little I could relate to, or would ever want to relate to. I think the epilogue was my favorite part.
Great Memoir - the only book that I've been able to read in its entirety lately.
I recommended it to a friend and she found it slow, but I found it to be the exact opposite - a great look at how deeply the relationships you have with people affect the course your life will take.
I recommended it to a friend and she found it slow, but I found it to be the exact opposite - a great look at how deeply the relationships you have with people affect the course your life will take.
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
relaxing
sad
medium-paced
Really enjoyed this book! Still on my memoir kick I suppose but it def reads as a series of short stories. It was so fun getting to know all of the different characters and see the author grow up in the bar setting. A love story to the barroom and the people that inhabit it!
Goodness. I read a few reviews but my mind went in a different way while reading this book.
This story is an autobiography written by a young boy growing up in Manhasset, Long Island. He is raised by his mom and only knew his dad as “the Voice” from the radio station. His mom had run out on the dad after he was abusive. Their lives were full of poverty and struggles as they bounced from their attempts to gain independence back to the mother’s core home. With a grandfather that was emotionally abusive to his wife and the family totally dysfunctional. But it was a place for JR.
His uncle Charlie was the bartender at the local pub and JR was only 11 when he started getting immersed in the pub life, hanging with Charlie and his friends and becoming a fixture at Publicans (the pub).
Now here’s where I started tracking a pretty strong structuring that the pub was JR’s development playground, where he learned character and wisdom.
“It takes just as many men to build a sturdy man, son, as it does to build a tower. You will look back on this time and remember remarkably little of it, except the extent to which I tried or did not try."
It wasn’t the alcohol that was the baseline of the story , it was this Cheers-like culture where everybody knows your name and you tell them your fears and dreams and they support you.
The advice given by JR’s pub family was poignant and carried a lot of meat through the story.
“You must do everything that frightens you…Everything. I’m not talking about risking your life, but everything else. Think about fear, decide right now how you’re doing to deal with fear, because fear is going to be the great issue of your life, I promise you. Fear will be the fuel for all your success, and the root cause of all your failures, and the underlying dilemma in every story you tell yourself about yourself. And the only chance you’ll have against fear? Follow it. Steer by it. Don’t think of fear as the villain. Think of fear as your guide, your pathfinder…”
Their words were the fuel that helped JR get to Yale, through several failed romantic relationships.
I laughed out loud at his first sexual experience. So many poignant moments throughout his development.
And then somewhere around chapter 45 he does an about-face and attributes all his strength to his fierce mother. Which confused me.
After Yale there was some revisionist storytelling and then he joined in on the damage of the alcohol effects of Publican and 9/11. So I felt like he jumped the broader messaging course at that point. I feel he should have stuck to the cultural components of how men in our society need good, healthy male role models to achieve their goals. But he didn’t and I’m not the writer. But it certainly had gritty potential as a sociological, anthropological foundation.
“Do you know why God invented writers? Because he loves a good story. And he doesn't give a damn about the words. Words are the curtain we've hung between him and our true selves. Try not to think about the words. Don't strin for the perfect sentence. There's no such thing. Writing is guesswork. Every sentence is an educated guess, the readers as much as yours."
George Clooney is making a movie out of this book, starring Ben Affleck as Charlie. It comes out this year. I wonder how it will hold up to the book.
This story is an autobiography written by a young boy growing up in Manhasset, Long Island. He is raised by his mom and only knew his dad as “the Voice” from the radio station. His mom had run out on the dad after he was abusive. Their lives were full of poverty and struggles as they bounced from their attempts to gain independence back to the mother’s core home. With a grandfather that was emotionally abusive to his wife and the family totally dysfunctional. But it was a place for JR.
His uncle Charlie was the bartender at the local pub and JR was only 11 when he started getting immersed in the pub life, hanging with Charlie and his friends and becoming a fixture at Publicans (the pub).
Now here’s where I started tracking a pretty strong structuring that the pub was JR’s development playground, where he learned character and wisdom.
“It takes just as many men to build a sturdy man, son, as it does to build a tower. You will look back on this time and remember remarkably little of it, except the extent to which I tried or did not try."
It wasn’t the alcohol that was the baseline of the story , it was this Cheers-like culture where everybody knows your name and you tell them your fears and dreams and they support you.
The advice given by JR’s pub family was poignant and carried a lot of meat through the story.
“You must do everything that frightens you…Everything. I’m not talking about risking your life, but everything else. Think about fear, decide right now how you’re doing to deal with fear, because fear is going to be the great issue of your life, I promise you. Fear will be the fuel for all your success, and the root cause of all your failures, and the underlying dilemma in every story you tell yourself about yourself. And the only chance you’ll have against fear? Follow it. Steer by it. Don’t think of fear as the villain. Think of fear as your guide, your pathfinder…”
Their words were the fuel that helped JR get to Yale, through several failed romantic relationships.
I laughed out loud at his first sexual experience. So many poignant moments throughout his development.
And then somewhere around chapter 45 he does an about-face and attributes all his strength to his fierce mother. Which confused me.
After Yale there was some revisionist storytelling and then he joined in on the damage of the alcohol effects of Publican and 9/11. So I felt like he jumped the broader messaging course at that point. I feel he should have stuck to the cultural components of how men in our society need good, healthy male role models to achieve their goals. But he didn’t and I’m not the writer. But it certainly had gritty potential as a sociological, anthropological foundation.
“Do you know why God invented writers? Because he loves a good story. And he doesn't give a damn about the words. Words are the curtain we've hung between him and our true selves. Try not to think about the words. Don't strin for the perfect sentence. There's no such thing. Writing is guesswork. Every sentence is an educated guess, the readers as much as yours."
George Clooney is making a movie out of this book, starring Ben Affleck as Charlie. It comes out this year. I wonder how it will hold up to the book.